Page 128 of Cast in Conflict

“I cannot be a prison. Ah, no. I can be a prison, but a prison is not a home. It is not the same with a Tower.”

“Why?”

“Because the Towers understood that they would be under attack—and they could not anticipate all of the forms of attack; as Bellusdeo said, Shadow is subtle and subversive. The captains can command the Towers.”

“Not according to Karriamis.”

Helen said nothing.

“You think he can be commanded.”

“I do. And perhaps that is the other reason he chose Candallar. Candallar, Barrani and alone, would instinctively avoid offering commands to a Dragon.”

“Bellusdeo won’t have that problem.”

“No? Perhaps not. But Karriamis chose to test her, to destabilize her, in order to claim the opposite. She is uncertain,” Helen added, a rare intrusion into Bellusdeo’s privacy. “The reason she is driven to consider the Tower is her personal war—and its loss. As if captaining a Tower will allow her to redeem herself from her failure.”

“That wasn’t her failure!”

Helen smiled gently. “Karriamis, I’m certain, does not agree. But failure defines and shapes us—and not solely because we did fail. How we deal with failure, how we deal with what it means about ourselves and our own capabilities, says more about us than almost anything else could. He does not know who Bellusdeo is, in the wake of catastrophic failure. But dear, neither does she.

“And while they may have similar goals in regard to Shadow, he is not meant to be a tool of vengeance. If that is all she has to offer, I do not believe she can take the Tower.”

18

It took two days for the household to recover. Emmerian and Bellusdeo had finished their discussion by the time Sedarias and the cohort could even begin theirs. Bellusdeo didn’t closet herself in her room, but she was orange-eyed and almost silent when she joined Kaylin in the dining room for meals. Mandoran was likewise mostly silent; he did dredge a smile out of Bellusdeo.

Although Helen said she wasn’t worried about the cohort now, she was tense; Kaylin could tell because when tense, Helen forgot little details in her appearance—especially her eyes. They had been obsidian for two days.

Bellusdeo came to breakfast on the third day. She wore a dress, not the familiar Dragon armor; her hair was pulled back and up, but it was the only concession she made to possibly martial action. Mandoran was at the table when she entered the room, as was Kaylin. Terrano and Annarion had joined them. The rest of the cohort—or those who were present—did not.

“How is she?” Bellusdeo asked Mandoran.

Mandoran grimaced. “She’d be a lot happier if I left off accompanying you.”

“Then stay.”

“I’d be a lot happier if I believed it wasn’t necessary.”

To Kaylin’s surprise, Bellusdeo didn’t argue. She seemed subdued. Subdued but not beaten. “I will not argue. I owe you a debt.”

Mandoran winced. “I would vastly prefer no talk of debt between us.”

“Believe that I would prefer it as well. But it is simple fact. I would leave Kaylin at home, but that would cause arguments with the Emperor, and I am not up to those arguments at present.”

“And Lord Emmerian?”

“He will meet us in the fief of Tiamaris; I believe he had questions to ask of Tara, and she agreed to answer what she could.”

“Tara’s worried about you?”

“He was kind enough not to mention it, but—you know Tara. What do you think?”

Tara was definitely worried. But that was fair. Kaylin had spent two days worrying while trying to look cheerful.

“You don’t have to go back,” Terrano told the gold Dragon.

“I don’t want to go back,” Bellusdeo replied. “But I could not live with myself if I did not choose to face Karriamis again. I will not descend into cowardice.”

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