The woman I was with before I found Elizabeth.
At first the relationship suited both of our needs. Nicole was from a privileged family. She had no ambition or need to work, so it reserved all of her attention for me. Something I had enjoyed at first but came to despise.
The only thing we truly had in common was our mutual fascination with pain. In the beginning, I’d thought she understood. My interest was purely in how pain allowed the body to experience more intense pleasure. There was no need to use it for discipline with Nicole, perhaps because I didn’t care enough about her to want to control her behavior.
Things were different with Elizabeth. The driving need to control her and everything in her world still burned deep within me. This fierce need to be everything and all to her. I begrudged the world everything about her… even one of her soft smiles… the world wasn’t worthy of them… didn’t deserve them. They were mine. Everything about Elizabeth was mine.
Things had deteriorated quickly with Nicole.
Suddenly, the kiss of a leather belt or whip wasn’t enough for her. She wanted more. Began to beg me for more pain. She wanted to bleed, to carry my mark. My scar.
One dreadful night, my resolve weakened. I had wondered what it would feel like to have another human being be completely subservient to me, a blood bond. I was a man possessed. The more she begged for it, the harder I gave it to her. We crossed a line that night. I had become Frankenstein and she my monstrous creation.
The next day, I went for a walk in St. James’s Park, wondering if I would ever cleanse my soul of the crimson stain.
That was when I saw Elizabeth. She was sitting there on the grass in the sunshine, reading Frankenstein of all things. She’d looked so innocent and pure… so clean of any corrupting stain. I craved just the sight of her. Returning to the park each day for a week hoping just for a glimpse as I furiously collected all the information I could find about her, until the day I saw her reading Pride and Prejudice and I knew, in that moment, I would be her Mr. Darcy.
I had become the villain of Nicole’s story, but I would be the hero of Elizabeth’s.
I broke it off with Nicole that day. Sent her the usual gifts of diamonds and money. Nicole ran in the same social circles as me. She knew the score. She knew this was how these things were handled. Usually, the partners went their separate ways with no unseemly public displays, but Nicole would not relent.
I did my best to hide all this from Elizabeth. That was until the day Nicole dared to accost her on the street. I thought I had made my displeasure known then. I thought Nicole finally understood it was over.
Then came the night of the masquerade party. Although I couldn’t prove it, I was certain she had something to do with the gilded cage falling, putting Elizabeth’s life at risk. One of the men involved was photographed meeting with Nicole a few days later.
It was then I knew I had to hide Elizabeth away… from the city… from everything for a while till I could figure out what to do with Nicole.
It was decided by me and her rather influential family that Nicole would be safest out of the country and out of the public eye. I had a business associate in Bahrain who owned a compound where they indulged in some of the more extreme sexual pursuits Nicole had craved.
For me, the solution was not so easy.
The stain on my soul remained… as did the cravings.
Sometimes I looked at Elizabeth and worried that one day I won’t be able to rein it in, that the beast would truly come unchained.
Unlike with Nicole, I wanted to see my mark on Elizabeth.
I wanted to brand her as mine. Each time I’d seen a welt from my belt on her creamy skin, my blood rose, wanting it to be permanent. I wanted to know that each time I saw her in public, that under her clothes, on her skin where only I could see, was a mark I gave her. Other times, I wanted to tattoo my crest on her body. Wanted to watch as the ink sank deep into her flesh, a permanent symbol of my ownership of her body and soul.
The more she fought me, the stronger these urges to dominate and brand her became.
The wicked side of me fed on her screams as much as her laughter.
I knew that inevitably, one day, I would go too far. Push over that irredeemable line. My only hope was that by then Elizabeth will be so bound to me in the eyes of God and the law that she would have no choice but to forgive me.
And if she didn’t?
Deep down, I knew I was capable of doing anything… anything… to keep her by my side.
It would be best for everyone if that was never… ever… put to the test.
For now, I needed to focus on the latest threat to our relationship. Clearly Nicole had escaped the compound and returned. Now a more permanent solution would have to be found.
I walked into our bedroom right as the doctor was finished examining her. Elizabeth, wrapped in one of my cashmere robes, sat on the chaise before a nice warm fire.
The doctor patted her on the shoulder in what I was sure he meant to be a reassuring gesture. That didn’t stop a momentary surge of anger at the thought of another man touching what was mine. It was stupid of course, but part of me didn’t even want him to examine her. It was why I’d had to step out of the room. I was certain my baser instincts would cause us all embarrassment and impede her getting medical attention.
Standing near her, I stroked her hair as she leaned her head against my thigh. “Well, Doctor?”