Page 45 of Sweet Animosity

Kill me now.

I let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Ladies, I am seriously fucked.”

Barb winked. “Yeah, you are, sweetie.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m actually being serious here. If I don’t get those paintings back, I’m screwed.”

Millie chimed in, “Yeah, you?—”

I pointed a finger at her. “Don’t you dare say it.”

She ran her pinched fingers over her closed lips, twisted them, then threw away the pretend key.

Snatching my glass, I fished out the olives and tossed them aside before draining it.

Barb laid a hand over her chest. “Darling, respect the olive.”

I slid the martini glass across the granite countertop toward her. “Another.”

Millie captured one of my olives before it rolled off the counter and popped it into her mouth. “All you have to do is show up tomorrow and play the part of doting secretary. Then search his office and find the paintings.”

Barb raised her glass. “An elegant solution. And if you play a little do-si-do around the desk while you’re at it, then all the better.”

“Barb!”

She shrugged. “What, darling? It’s been years. I mean, Millie and I have seen more action than you since that cheating bastard you dumped.”

Both of my eyebrows rose as I looked from one elderly sister to the other. I mean, true, they were both fabulously stylish with that fun moxie that I hoped to embody when I was their age…. But more action? Truly? “Are you being serious now?”

Millie counted off her fingers. “For me, there’s been Bob from the pickleball courts. Morty from the Seniors Club and… oh, what was his name? Jacob, also from the Seniors Club.”

“Don’t forget about David.”

Millie frowned. “David?”

“From the produce section of the supermarket.”

“Oh, yeah, Zucchini Pie David! Oh, he was a sweetie. And so eager to please in bed.”

Barb tapped one perfectly manicured nail against her lips. “Let’s see. What’s my body count?”

Body count!

This must be what hell was like. Listening to your sweet, like-a-grandmother, elderly neighbors chat about their sexual exploits… while realizing they had a higher body count than you.

My brow furrowed. “It’s not my fault. I’m selective when it comes to men.”

Barb rolled her eyes. “Darling, a diamond dealer is selective. You’re a freaking nun. The pope himself would say, ‘all right already, just go fuck someone!’”

“I’m pretty sure the pope wouldn’t say that.”

Millie shrugged. “How do you know? Have you met him?”

Barb smiled as she gestured between her and Millie. “We have.”

“What a cutie. The current one. Not that one with the name like a rat who looked like a cartoon villain.”

I wasn’t surprised. The two of them were still celebrated throughout both the theatre and movie industry for their amazing costumes. They’d even received both a Tony and an Academy Award for their work.

---