Page 25 of One Hot Summer

She’s right, of course. I wouldn’t have come.

“It’s not going to be full of hippies, is it?” I asked, envisaging walking out to the garden and coming face to face with the long-haired preacher who campaigns in the town centre come rain or shine.

“Don’t be silly, it’s just family. Now come on, everyone is waiting.” She made her way through the door and out into the back garden.

“I tell you now,” I whispered to Zack once she was out of earshot. “If I find a stray caterpillar in my lettuce leaves, it’s having a public execution as a form of protest. What will they do if their kids get nits? Pull them out alive and set them free?”

“Wow, you do get cranky where food is concerned. It’s quite cute, actually.”

“My brother isn’t vegan. I’ll never believe it.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out. Come on. If you get through this without making a scene involving a caterpillar and a guillotine, I’ll treat you to a big bucket of Colonel Sanders’ finest on the way home.”

“With gravy?”

“Double gravy. We can have one each. How about that?” He placed his hands on my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

“All right, fine,” I said, when we’d pulled apart from each other. “You’re on. I promise I will try not to kill a caterpillar.” If I saw an ant on the pavement though, it would need to run for cover.

We walked through the house, through the conservatory and out into the garden. With a sense of trepidation, I looked to the table where the food had been laid out.

Suddenly, a little person appeared in front of me.

“Aunty Jen! Aunty Jen!” he called out.

“Hello, Sam!” I picked my oldest nephew up and sat him on my hip. “Oh, you’ve grown.”

Sam giggled as I tickled him whilst he was trapped in my arms. His brother, Ethan, stared up at me with his wide eyes, unsure what to make of me. He had some sass for a three-year-old.

“Who’s that?” Sam asked, looking at Zack suspiciously.

“That’s my friend, Zack. I’ve brought him to meet you all today. Do you want to say hello?”

Zack smiled. “Hi, Sam, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” he asked, with a look of disgust on his face.

“He is, are you going to say hello to him?”

My crazy confident nephew suddenly went all shy. Zack tried to say hello to him again, but he was having none of it, wriggling out of my grasp and running to the safety of his parents. Andrew, the new patron saint of animal welfare, turned and waved before making his way over to us.

“Jenny!” He greeted me with a hug. “So glad you came, sis. Haven’t seen you for ages. You never come over to see us here. And this must be Zack?”

“It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for the invite.” Zack shook his outstretched hand.

“Not a problem, pal. It’s good to meet you, finally.” He took a swig of his beer, which I noticed wasn’t his usual brand.

“Erm, what’s this?” I pointed at the bottle, his hand slyly covering the label.

“What?”

“This, right here, you might have missed it. It says ‘non-alcoholic’. I thought you were allowed to drink on weekends if you were a good boy and did all your homework. Did you buy the wrong one by mistake?”

“Well, no, Elizabeth doesn’t want alcohol in the house whilst she’s breastfeeding.” He looked around to see where his wife was. “If she isn’t allowed to have it then it’s not really fair.”

“Ah, right, okay. I hear you. And this whole vegan thing is, what, because the baby can’t chew on a steak yet, so it’s not fair to rub it in her face?”

“Actually, a plant-based diet is incredibly healthy.” He spoke loudly this time, turning to check where his wife was again. “No saturated fats, high fibre and, well, it’s proven to improve health. What are you staring at?”

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