"It actually was a good experience for me, too. I was… " I trailed off, and he looked at me like he was waiting for me to continue, and I shrugged. "I, uh, this weekend was different for me. I knew I was coming here, and so I, I wanted to be a hundred percent or whatever, and anyway, it made the weekend different for me. Better. I had fun tonight, and doing this affected other aspects of my weekend that you don’t even know about, so thank you."
"You're welcome," he said. "I'm not entirely sure what you just said, but I think it was good."
"It was good. It's about getting high. I’m not saying I had a problem, because I don't feel like I have a problem, but I specifically stayed away from everything this weekend because I knew I was coming here and I didn't think I would have time to catch up on rest before… anyway… I stayed away from everything this weekend. I went out and I danced and everything, but I didn't party like usual, and honestly it wasn't bad. I might have even had a better weekend than normal."
He looked like he was about to say something to respond to me, but then he shifted to listen to the guys from across the room.
"We're making our last trip to the truck, this is it, we're heading out," one of the guys said with his arms full of black padded duffel bags.
John-Michael waved and took a few steps that way. "Thank you," he said.
"Thank you! You were so good, and we got a lot of footage. It's gonna come out amazing."
"Great. All right, well, y'all have a good night."
He went that way to see them off, and then he turned to me and let his shoulders slump once they were out of the door. I could tell how relieved he was to have them out. I put my backpack on one shoulder.
"I should go," I said. "I know you're ready to have your house to yourself."
"That doesn't apply to you," he said, shaking his head. "You've been amazing. I sincerely thought it would be a couple of hours, max. The footage is going to be good, and I'm glad they care about their work and everything, but it was way more intense than I thought. I'm just really thankful you're here. And I'm thankful for what you did this weekend. Thank you for putting thought into hanging out with him. That's really special. I worried about you with me having to be in there so late."
"I told you not to worry when you came out here to eat that pizza. It was great. I had fun."
"I'm going to have some more pizza now. Do you want some?"
I took him up on the offer, and I wound up staying there for another hour. We shared a fun conversation. We learned new things about each other, but in some ways, it felt like we were well acquainted.
We laughed and talked and got along easily, but never neither of us eluded to any attraction or mentioned the possibility that a kiss had happened. There were moments in our conversation when I would get caught looking at his mouth and I would feel for certain that I had kissed it. I would have to look away and compose myself.
Neither of us said a thing about it.
We just ate pizza and told stories. I told him different things that Ethan and I did while he was working. I gave him the highlights of our evening and shared funny stories with him, but I didn't tell him the gushy parts—the parts that really touched my heart.
That little boy was a real gem.
He was funny in a lot of ways. He loved dinosaurs and loved to play, but he was also intelligent and sensitive about God. Several times during the night, he gave thanks to God for random things. I loved it when he did that. And then at the end of the night, before he went to bed, he asked me to pray. I told him I didn't know how he wanted to pray, so he did it for us. He held my hand and prayed for both of us. He prayed for his whole family. It was honestly the sweetest thing. I had to hold back tears.
It made me so happy that I had chosen a different path this weekend. It was gratifying for me to hear him say those things, talking to God, and feel like I wasn't a total disappointment in that moment. I figured that there was a chance I would go back to feeling like a disappointment sometime, but right then, I knew that I didn't take the pills and get wasted, and I was happy about it.
Chapter 9
Three weeks later
I was back to being a total disappointment.
I woke up to my brother, Salem, shouting my name, shaking my shoulder, and wearing a frustrated expression. Last night was the first time I had partied in weeks, and all I wanted was to sleep it off.
"Stoppp," I moaned, pushing him away and turning over.
"No. I won't. You need to get up. You need to get in the house and get dressed. You're coming to work with me."
"No, I'm not, Salem."
I realized I was in my car, and I sat up. "I'll go inside and finish sleeping in there."
"No, Sadie, you're coming with me. I've already talked to Phillip about it. I'm taking you back on that job at the golf course."
"Salem, I went to work with you yesterday."