Page 22 of Milk & Cookie

“If a hippy is a person whose views are alternative when compared to mainstream conventions, then technically, all of our friends are hippies, and so are we. We all grew up in nature’s wilds, and we all enjoy doing things in our own unorthodox ways.”

“You make an interesting point. Follow-up question.” He raises a finger to correct himself. “Questions. How will you earn money? And where will you live? You’ll cramp my style before too long, and I have renovations to do.”

This is the first I’ve heard of it. “You do?”

He gestures around the room I’ve been using. “I’m turning this into a sex room.” His face is deadpan, and I can’t tell if he’s serious. “With a secret entrance.”

“For whom? Cadence Malone?” I tease.

He launches himself on top of me, and gets in a sneaky jab, before I get him in a headlock and attack his scalp with a noogie. I threaten to shove his face under the covers to meet my ass, but after searching his livid face, I promptly stop torturing the poor man. “Oh my God. It is for her?”

I let him up, and he straightens his hair while giving me a sour look. “Don’t fuck with me about this, Vincent.”

I hold up my palms. “I won’t. I’m just surprised. You’re…”

“I know.” He sighs and hangs his head. “She’s the town’s revered and protected virginal treasure, and I’m the lecherous, gadabout hound who fucks asses — like ass-play is a damned crime, and I’m a known villain — but I fucking love the girl. We have a connection.”

“We’re talking about the librarian with the upright posture, long skirts, long sleeves, and high necklines, right?”

“It’s what’s underneath that counts,” Daryl mutters with a smirk.

“Yeah, but she dresses like a nun, and not one who joined a convent to repent after living too wildly. She looks like the type who chose the path from birth and doesn’t dare stray from it.”

He sighs again. “I know. It’s too much to ask, for us to end up together, but a man can dream. Can’t he?”

“So this sex room… It’s a build it, and she will come kind of thing?”

He snorts, and then groans and flops onto the foot of the bed. “I wish the rest of the people in this town would either fuck off or give me a chance. Honestly, you accidentally nail one gossip around here, and your dating life is destroyed. I’ve had to travel for sex for months — I tapped out the surrounding towns weeks ago. If I could move, I would.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because Cady’s here, and she can’t move.” He throws his arm over his eyes in a dramatic fashion.

“You’ve got it bad, huh?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, and I wish I never told you her name.” He lifts his arm and fixes me with a hard glare. “Promise me you won’t mention it to anyone, ever.”

I draw an X over my heart. “Maybe I can help? When I move to town, I can sing your praises.”

He shakes his head. “You know, some adventurous and fun-loving women around here once sang my praises — before I was outed for having… extra-vaginal-ar interests. Now those women are forced to walk in shame. One turned into a fucking hermit.” He rolls over, to face me properly. “You can’t go around telling people how awesome I am, or they’ll think I fucked you in the ass, too. Just leave it alone.” He gestures for me to sweep his issues away. “Tell me about your plans for the babymaker.”

“My plans? It’s more like I’m going on a gut feeling and flying by the seat of my pants, Daz.”

He doesn’t bat an eyelash. “Sounds like you. And?”

“I’m going to move here, live off the land, fuck my pretty little hippy-mama a gazillion times, make her a dozen more babies, and die happy, surrounded by love.”

“Solid plan,” he says, but he doesn’t sound convinced. “Is that what she asked you to do? Has she seen the size of your cock?”

“She’s seen it. And after a few more prep sessions like today’s, she’ll be up to the task of taking it.”

“Taking it… to court, for assault and battery? She’s tiny.” His tone is so serious, I squint at him.

I can’t tell if he’s joking.

“Taking it in her… baby-maker. She’s surprisingly supple.” My cheeks grow warm, and I avoid his gaze. “Subject change, please. She’s my future wife.”

“Are you sure she’s on the same page, buddy? You’ve had your heart broken a lot, and the love bug seems to have bitten you particularly bad this time. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

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