Page 83 of Room Service
“I don’t want things to be awkward,” I say, biting my bottom lip.
“Elise, this is simply a business decision based on incredible designs. By all means, finish up your course and then come and talk to me if that makes you feel better. The offer isn’t going anywhere,” she assures me, and then she breezes on to showing me more creations, letting me feel different fabrics that she’s testing out, giving me more insight into a possible future doing what I love.
Chapter Sixty-Two
DORIEN
“Gabriel, you need to stop fucking checking up on me,” I scold. “I’m fine.”
“See, someone who couldn’t give a shit would believe you, but I’ve known you too long, Dukes.”
“Fucking busy body,” I mutter, but he just laughs.
I walk around my home, the one I’ve never shared with anyone, the one that only Gabriel and Chantel know exists because I like my privacy, but I wish Elise knew about this place too. I can just picture her on the decking, looking out over the vast garden, admiring the flowers that are tended to by the gardeners. I can imagine her sipping coffee and looking at me like she wants me to devour her. I can see me telling her to get on her fucking knees, just like I did at the beginning, before I take her to the king-size bed and eat her until her limbs turn to jelly.
Soon, Dorien. Soon. I’ve reminded myself daily to bide my time, give her the space she said we both needed. I’ve taken time away from work, holed up here for a few weeks and shut myself off from everything and everyone. Except this little visit from Gabriel tells me that my time of solitude is up.
“She’s doing good, you know,” he says, and I pin him with my gaze.
“She is?”
He nods in response as I wonder how he knows, and me being me refuses to be kept in the dark anymore. “Where is she?”
“I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you she’s doing really well.”
“You can’t fucking tell me?” I question. “May I remind you who your loyalty lies with?”
I could have found her myself, in time, but I’ve resisted, even as the urge has consumed me daily. I’ve been a fucking saint abiding by her wants, her needs, even as it’s killed me to do so. But I know that she’d never forgive me for not taking the time to find myself or whatever. I never needed to find myself, I just needed her, but I have realised that work is no longer something that I care about as much as I once did. I’ve let go a little more, become less overbearing with how things are run. These last couple of weeks I’ve simply been here, doing not a lot and replaying my past in my head. The women, the nights where I thought I was fulfilling my needs, but in reality, I was just waiting until she came along to show me what life was all about.
“It’s not about loyalty, Dorien,” Gabe says, interrupting my thoughts.
“When did you see her?”
“I haven’t.”
“Then how do you… Chantel,” I say, and I scoff a laugh. Of course Chantel has seen her, bloody nosey woman that she is. “Is that why she isn’t here with you, because she’s hiding her guilt?”
“Take it down a notch, Dorien,” he warns me, and I rein in my frustration. “She isn’t here because she’s working, and you know as well as I do that Chantel has only got your best interests at heart, so she doesn’t need to harbour any guilt.”
“Sorry,” I mumble, even as I feel like they’ve gone behind my back in a round-about way. “I just fucking miss her.”
“I know, but your story isn’t over,” he says, and I feel it in my gut. It isn’t over, not by a long shot. I’ve got one more month until I find her, and until then, I better work through my remaining shit, so she gets the best of me. The part only she will ever get.
Chapter Sixty-Three
ELISE
The summer break from art college begins, but I have more than enough to be getting on with until we return in the autumn. I took Chantel up on her offer, quit my cleaning job, and true to her word, she hasn’t told Dorien anything, because if she had then he would have rocked up already, I’m sure of it. I refuse to believe he isn’t ready to unleash his anger at me for walking away, but it’s truly helped me to learn who I am on my own, which is exactly what I wanted.
I’m also very aware that the six months break is nearly up, and a part of me wants to break it now, a few days early, because my heart just wants to be near him, but I’m also scared that I’ve hurt him so much that he’ll deny me.
Out of everything I’ve learned on my journey of self-discovery, it’s that the only person in the world who can truly hurt me is him, because I never let him go. So, because I’m scared of his reaction to me just turning up and begging him to take me back, I’m being a coward and waiting to see if he comes to me, just like he said he would.
Chapter Sixty-Four
DORIEN
Six months to the day she left, and I find myself on the phone, calling up the man I didn’t think I’d ever have to ask for a favour from again. Because actually, that’s what he did for me previously, if you think about it, once he ripped the contract to be part of my hotel chain up.
