Page 12 of Part of Me
For ten years he has been my rock. For ten years I have loved him. For ten years I have trusted and believed everything he has told me. So why, in the space of a few seconds, do I begin to doubt anything that he has ever said to me?
Chapter Ten
I feel like the bar is closing in on me. The sight of my boyfriend with another woman has left me reeling. I stand up abruptly, knowing that I have to get out of here. My earlier joy has been replaced with… with what? I have so many emotions whizzing through me and no idea how to process them all.
I have never seen Luke with another woman. He has always been with me, and as far as I know has been faithful. Up until this moment, I have never second guessed anything that he has said to me. I have never had the need to.
I down the rest of my cocktail even though I feel sick, and I pick up my bag. I march over to Maggie and tap her on the shoulder. She whirls around, and her face soon relaxes when she sees its me and not someone else.
“You okay, girl?” she asks me, clearly seeing the distress on my face.
“Not really, I don’t feel so good. I’m going to take off.”
“Oh right. Hang on a sec and I’ll get my coat.”
“No, no…” I panic as I try to put her off coming with me. I need to be on my own with my thoughts. “Honestly, you stay here, I’ll be fine. I’m just going to grab a taxi and go straight home.”
Maggie looks a little unsure, but I am hoping that the handsome man she is talking to is enough to dissuade her from coming with me.
“Are you sure?” she asks, the hesitancy clear in her tone.
“Positive,” I say as I force a smile.
“Well, okay. Text me when you’re home though.”
“I will. Have a good night,” I say, giving her a kiss on her cheek.
I quickly turn and exit Bar Twelve, needing to breathe in some fresh air. I emerge onto the street and inhale deeply as I numbly make my way to the taxi rank located on the other side of the street. I am in luck, seeing as there are a couple of taxis waiting there. I hop into the first one, give the driver my address, and I sit back in the seat, the feeling of dread growing stronger with each minute that passes me by.
I stare out of the window as I try to convince myself that I was seeing things. I must have got it wrong. Luke wouldn’t cheat on me. Luke isn’t like that. I would know if something was wrong with us, we have been together for ten years after all. The thing that I can’t ignore though is how shifty Luke was acting. When his eyes scanned the street, he was clearly looking for someone. Would he have been looking for me? He knew that I was going for a drink, so perhaps he thought that I might have seen him?
I clutch my stomach as I feel bile rise in my throat. I swallow it back down as the taxi pulls into the road for mine and Luke’s house. Our house. I have only just moved in for fuck’s sake.
As the taxi rolls to a stop outside our house I almost tell the driver to take me to my parents, but I know that I need to get myself straight before Luke gets home. I pay the taxi fare and exit the car, making my way to the front door. I unlock the door, walk in, and switch the hallway light on, closing the door behind me.
As I take my jacket and shoes off, I feel a sense of sadness sweep over me. I make my way upstairs and enter our bedroom, picking up my pyjamas before going into the bathroom. I undress and turn the shower on.
As I step into the warm water, I let the tears fall down my cheeks. I sob as I just stand there and let my mind take me to places that I don’t want to go. Surely there has got to be some explanation for Luke being with that woman? He can’t have been lying to me all of these years. Surely, I haven’t been that blinded by my love for him?
I let out a loud sob as I feel my world shattering. Should I confront him when he gets home? Should I wait and see if I can find out more information on my own? Should I just leave without saying a word? I have no clue what to do. My head is a jumble of emotions.
I pick up the shampoo and on autopilot I wash my hair. I close my eyes and rinse the shampoo out. Once I am done, I pick up the body wash and start to clean myself. I almost feel like I need to wash the betrayal off of me, even though I haven’t done anything wrong. As I face the shower and rub the soap over my body, I feel two hands grip my hips from behind. I let out a loud gasp, and if it wasn’t for the hands holding me in place then I would have slipped over.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Luke’s voice says as he places his mouth by my ear. I don’t answer him as I try to regulate my breathing. I don’t know what I want to say to him at this point anyway. I feel his body push against my back, and I bite my bottom lip as I fight the tears that threaten to re-emerge.
As Luke places his lips on the side of my neck, I feel my confusion worsen. How can he kiss me like this if he is seeing someone else? How can he portray his love for me if he is fucking some other woman? Luke’s hands move from my hips, round to my waist, and they make a slow trail up to my breasts. I know that I should stop him, but I need this moment. I need this moment to see where my emotions will take me. I need this moment to see if everything we have together is a lie.
I block all of the pain and sadness from my mind, and I just relish in the feel of his hands on my body. His fingers tweak my nipples, and his tongue runs along my shoulder. He brings one of his hands to my face and cups my cheek, turning my head to the side as he does. His tongue trails back to my neck and upwards, until his mouth is beside my lips.
“Hey, babe,” he whispers as he stares into my eyes. He nuzzles his nose against mine and I close my eyes. We have shared so many intimate moments together, am I really prepared to throw that away for something that could be completely innocent?
“I missed you today,” he says as he lowers his lips to mine. I let him kiss me. I let him devour me. I let him do the things to my body that only he has ever done. I let him penetrate me, and I let him love me. As his hard length pulses in me, I let out a loud moan. The sensations going through me are in overdrive as I allow myself to think of nothing but the feel of him inside me.
I let his tongue mould against mine as we both reach our climax. I let myself say his name as my orgasm becomes so powerful that it overwhelms me. I let him hold me against his body afterwards. And I let my tears fall, allowing them to merge silently with the water running down my face.
Chapter Eleven
I go in to work the following morning and I make my way up to my new desk. I say hello to Maggie as I walk by, and she wishes me good luck in my new role. I forgot to text her last night when I got home, which I am sure she will bollock me for at some point today.
