Page 68 of Losing Control
Chapter Forty-Eight
Normality
Three days have passed since I left Michael. Three days in which I have remained at Cal’s, holed away from the outside world.
Cal is helping me to try and heal my broken heart and soul, but I am still all over the place. One minute I’m relieved, the next I’m miserable. There is no in-between right now.
I am currently sat at my work desk, watching the door like a hawk. Cal tried to convince me that I shouldn’t be going anywhere, but I feel the need to try and get some semblance of normality back in my life.
After calling Kim last night and giving her a brief rundown of the last few days, she assured me that Michael hadn’t been into work either. She just assumed that we both had a sickness bug of sorts, and although she had tried my mobile phone, I have kept it turned off.
It’s nearly nine o’clock, and most of the staff have arrived. Cal made sure that he escorted me to my desk, and he assured me that he would be here to pick me up and take me back to his tonight. I tried to wave him off, but he was having none of it. To be honest, I am so glad that he hasn’t gotten sick of me yet. He really has been the one that has held me together, and he has stopped me from returning to Michael when my mind just wanted to focus on all of the good times.
That’s the problem you see, my mind wants to block out the bad. Even my own brain wants to conspire against me.
“Hey, you,” Kim says as she gets closer to my desk.
“Hey,” I reply with a genuine smile on my face.
“How have you been? You don’t look too good.”
“Gee, thanks for that,” I reply sarcastically, but with a chuckle so that she knows that I am joking.
“You sure that you should be back at work?” She gives me a concerned look, but I need her to understand that I need distraction.
As wonderful as Cal has been, it doesn’t stop my brain from going over everything that has happened.
“Yes, I’m fine, and I am even more fine that Michael isn’t here. I think that I would have stayed away had I known that he was still coming in,” I reply, relief surging through me that it is now just after nine and there is still no sign of him. He would never be late to work if he was going to appear, so I can allow myself to relax and catch up on my workload.
“You know that I’m still mostly in the dark about what has been going on with you. Can we catch up after work, properly?” Kim asks me, her face looking hopeful that I will bring her more into the loop.
“Sure. Cal is meeting me when I finish, so we could go back to his and crack open a bottle of wine?” I suggest.
“I am so down for doing that,” Kim replies as she gets settled at her desk and switches her computer on.
I smile and pull my phone out of my handbag to send a quick text to Cal to let him know that I have invited Kim over later. He won’t mind, it’s something we used to do all the time before he went away.
I put my phone back in my handbag and am about to ask Kim if she wants me to make her a coffee when I freeze. A cold feeling washes over me, the hairs on my neck standing to attention. My eyes flicker towards the main entrance of the office, and there stands Michael, his gaze fixed on me.
I suck in a sharp breath, my lungs suddenly feeling like they are closing up.
“Shit,” I hear Kim say from her desk, but that word is putting it mildly.
I guess my day isn’t going to be as relaxed as I thought it would be.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Fronting it out
I watch as Michael goes over to his desk and takes his jacket off. The sight of him has my adrenaline pumping. Michael scares me, and I bet the look is written all over my face.
As he puts his jacket on the back of his chair, my heart pumps wildly.
Please leave me alone.
Please don’t make a scene at work.
Please, please, please.
