Page 60 of Losing Control

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He makes me want to fight for what we used to have.

We were good together once, weren’t we?

When did it all go so wrong?

We just need to work harder.

I need to behave better.

I need to stop pissing him off.

My thoughts are halted as my head is pushed until I am under the water.

My eyes fly open and immediately sting from the water and the bubbles.

I can make out an arm above me, a hand pushing me down. I struggle against Michael’s overwhelming strength as I fight against trying to take a breath under the water.

Panic grips me.

Pain surges through me.

I lift my hands and bat at his arm as I yearn to taste the air. He doesn’t budge.

I kick my legs, sending water flying everywhere.

I try to scream out, but it just comes out muffled. My heart pounds, my blood pumps.

He’s got to let go.

He has to.

He can’t do this to me.

It’s my fault for angering him.

I should never have gone for a drink with Kim.

This is my fault.

I’m a bad girlfriend.

The thoughts continue to rage, my hands continue to hit out.

I lose the battle and open my mouth, an animalistic sound ripping from my throat. I can’t fight this anymore. I don’t have the strength. I can’t even cry. All I can do is feel the pain in my lungs from holding my breath, and the pain in my heart that my world is crashing down around me just a little bit more.

I stop kicking.

I stop fighting.

I let my hands fall into the water.

I close my eyes.

I’m done.

Chapter Forty-Three

A wake up call

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