Page 50 of Losing Control
“Yes.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
No way out
“We had a great night,” Kim says as she kisses my cheek and takes one last look at the foreign object on my ring finger. “Damn, girl, that is pretty.”
“It is,” I say as I try to inject some life into my answer.
“We should do this again soon,” Michael says as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my midriff.
“Definitely. Congratulations again, guys,” Jeremy says before he opens the front door and walks out, Kim trailing behind him.
“See you Monday,” she calls as they walk away.
I close the front door with a heart that feels like lead.
“Well, that was a success,” Michael says, turning me in his arms and pushing me against the front door.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he starts to kiss my neck.
“I’m kissing my fiancée, what does it look like?”
“Can’t we clean the place up first?” I am stalling. I don’t want him to kiss me.
“The cleaning can wait, I however can’t.”
“But Michael––”
“Don’t you want to please your husband-to-be?” he asks me, putting on a look of hurt.
“Of course I do, but––”
“Well then, get in the bedroom and show me how much you love me.” I gulp down the lump that has formed in my throat and I make my way to the bedroom.
It’s just sex.
I can do this.
Michael follows me and shuts the bedroom door behind him, bathing us in darkness.
I block my mind, feeling absolutely nothing as we have sex.
Michael gave up on my pleasure a long time ago, so once he’s done, he rolls over and passes out beside me.
He didn’t notice my body freezing from his touch.
He didn’t notice that I was disinterested.
And he didn’t notice the tears that fell from my eyes the whole time.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Unrecognisable
I am a shell of my former self.
Pale.
