Page 32 of Rejected Wolf Mate

“Astrid—”

“You left us in the lurch,” she accused. “And made it so I had to do whatever it took to make sure Thea was all right. Do you know what I had to do to make ends meet?”

“No,” I said, forcing myself to stay calm. “Why don’t you tell me?”

She paused, seeming to run out of steam. Something flickered behind her eyes, but I couldn’t tell if it was more anger or something else. Part of me wondered if, in the heat of the moment, she had said more than she’d meant to. But what would she be holding back?

Before I could think more of it, she shook her head. “Forget it,” she said. “You wouldn’t understand.”

She spun around and stormed out of the kitchen. I stayed where I was, listening to her footsteps as she stormed up the stairs, her words swirling in my head like a storm.

I stayed where I was for a long moment, processing the words. Above me, I could hear her stomping around.

I had thought I was helping her. I’d truly thought what I had done was the best for everyone.

But for the first time, I began to doubt it. What would have happened if I had stayed with her? I could have kept looking after her, sent money to her and Thea if they needed it. For a moment, I wondered if my decision had more to do with me than it had Astrid. I’d always said it was for her protection, but what if it had been for myself? Leaving her so I didn’t have to worry about attachments? If we were broken up, that meant I didn’t have to worry about her anymore.

I had always had the belief that you needed to stand behind your decisions. You needed to believe that you were right, because second-guessing yourself could lead to any number of disasters.

Except I hadn’t been right. Not this time.

I glanced up at the ceiling as if I’d be able to see Astrid. I didn’t like seeing her upset; I didn’t like knowing I was the reason she was upset in the first place. But I did this to her. I had to accept that. My decisions had done a lot of harm, more than I had anticipated. I’d made a mistake. The thought felt almost foreign, but I knew it was the truth.

I’d made a mistake, and now I had to own up to it.

My wolf pushed inside me, keening, wanting to go upstairs and comfort Astrid. She was unhappy, and I needed to do something about it.

Still, I remained rooted to the spot, still processing everything that had happened, wondering how the hell I could make it up to her.

Chapter 13 - Astrid

I splashed my face with water, hands trembling as I tried to get a grip. My eyes stung with unshed tears as I gripped the edge of the sink.

My head swam, and my stomach churned. This was all my fault. I had spent my whole life protecting Thea. Now her life hung in the balance because I had wanted to settle a stupid grudge. I should have just stormed out of Ansel’s office the moment he had told me his offer. He might have already decided to use Thea against me back then. Better yet, I should have walked out the second I got a whiff of something off in that group.

My wolf paced anxiously, claws flexing as she whimpered, sensing my own complex emotions and knowing the danger surrounding the situation.

My mind replayed my outburst at Rand again and again. I didn’t know if I would have had the courage if it hadn’t been for the fact that my emotions were so all over the place. Maybe it was my subconscious trying to justify to myself why I should kill him. He had upended our lives, after all. The angrier about it I was, the easier it would be to take a knife and stab him through the heart. But the outburst had just tapped into a well of emotions and brought everything to the surface. It hadn’t done shit to convince me I should kill him.

It would have been so much easier if I still hated Rand. But I didn’t. I had been trying to deny it to myself, but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t let Thea die. But I couldn’t kill Rand, either.

I took a deep breath, splashing more water on my face as I came to an unpleasant conclusion. I needed to tell him, to warn him, but my instincts screamed at me not to. If I did, Ansel might kill Thea. Or, for that matter, Rand might turn me in, and Thea would still be dead. I had no doubt that if I was found out, regardless of whether I told Rand or not, Ansel would kill Thea the instant I was discovered.

I groaned, rubbing my face as everything around me spun and spiraled.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. I jumped, heart pounding.

“Astrid, can we talk?”

I swallowed, walked out of the bathroom into my room, and stared at the closed door. I could have said no. I wasn’t sure he would listen, but telling him to go away was probably the best option, at least until I sorted out all my thoughts and figured out what to do. Except I didn’t want to be alone. No, that wasn’t it entirely. I wanted him here, next to me. Even if I couldn’t tell him the truth, just being in the same room as him would have given me some level of security. Which was one of the reasons my decision had become impossible over the span of a few days.

“Yeah,” I croaked, my voice dry. “Yeah, it’s open.”

I watched the doorknob turn. Rand pushed himself into the room. He stayed where he was, at a respectful distance. I waited for him to say something, the lump in my throat growing.

We stayed like that for what felt like a century. Finally, Rand sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

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