Page 8 of Cruel Alpha Bully

The thought causes a sharp twist in my chest, as if my heart is beating around a jagged blade. I fucked up. I hurt her. She has every right to feel the way she does. It doesn’t make it any easier for me.

“You alright in there, bro?” Jack’s voice calls as he knocks lightly on the door.

“Yeah!” I yell back, still staring into my own eyes as I adjust my bowtie. I can’t help but wonder what Gina will think when she looks at me.

I remember whenever I caught her eye back in high school, she’d be staring at me with adoration. I fed off it, even as I rejected it. It seems so stupid to me now that I’ve always thought she was beautiful, but never allowed myself to admit it.

I thought I had to win the pack’s favor to become alpha. I shunned Gina because other guys did, too. They said she was boring, fat, quiet and weird. I was so afraid that if I showed any interest in her, they would think the same of me.

Now I know, it is my duty to lead the pack. I could have chosen her, made her worthy by that decision. Instead, I fell prey to my own insecurities, and now it’s too late to change what I did.

“Seriously, bro,” Jack mutters, knocking again. “What’s the deal?”

“Struggling with my bowtie,” I growl. I’m not lying. The thing just won’t sit straight.

Even though this is a small, informal wedding, we’ve still gone to some effort. Both families want some nice pictures. This event will be remembered for a long time. Not just by us, but all the pack members who come after.

Our children, and our children’s children.

The thought fills me with excitement. The pack will be so strong with me as alpha and a den mother like Gina. The idea is thrilling enough on its own, but as I allow myself to sink into the how of the situation, my body seems to melt.

I’ve hardly seen Gina since the day she arrived. We discussed the wedding plans completely without her input. She barely looked at me the whole time. We parted ways, preparations for the wedding began, and Gina’s grandmother’s funeral was held.

The funeral was an even smaller event than our wedding. Just a few pack members attended the burial, where everyone could say a few words. Gina looked drawn and tired, and it wasn’t appropriate for me to attempt to speak with her then.

Even standing there by the grave, her scent was driving me wild. It was almost like my blood was dancing in my veins, and goosebumps were rising all over me. The same sensation as my hackles rising when I’m amping up for the hunt.

“I’m going to break the door down!” Jack says, jiggling the doorknob. I sigh as I give up on my bowtie and turn around to let him in.

Jack is more nervous than I am. He still doesn’t fully approve of the wedding, and I don’t really blame him. Even though we stayed best friends after the prom, he never really let me forget that I was the reason Gina left town.

Jack can’t judge me too harshly—it’s not like he stood up for his sister, either. He never teased her in public like I did, but he was happy to stay silent and let it go on.

He knows me so well, he has to have guessed how I really feel about her.

“Let me take a look,” Jack mutters, grasping the ends of the tie and tugging on them as if he’d like to choke me. I can’t imagine how he’s feeling right now. He supports me becoming the alpha; he always has. He’s even honored that it’s his sister standing beside me. But he’s still worried she could get hurt.

Maybe he worries about that because he failed to protect her in the past.

I want to tell him I’m bound to her now. Nothing can change that. As my mate, she is the most important thing in the world to me, and I could never let her go.

I’m just not sure any of that would help. Especially if he hasn’t guessed my true feelings.

“There,” Jack says, tugging on the tie and turning me around. The little strip of gray silk is neatly arranged at my throat, covering the collar of my white shirt. My suit is a dark charcoal gray, and all the groomsmen are in black.

“Who else is out there?” I ask, staring at my own reflection.

“Cody, Ben, Seth. The usual.”

“No elders?”

“Nope. They’re at the barn, waiting for you.”

“Figures,” I mutter, rolling my shoulders to adjust the jacket sleeves.

When Jack turns to leave, I follow him, glad to see my friends waiting for me. If I ever had to march into hell, these would be the boys I’d choose to walk with me.

We head out the back towards the barn, decorated with wicker and evergreen leaves. The few wildflowers available for the season have been hung around the entranceways. I hurry down the aisle, smiling and nodding as I take my place.

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