Page 65 of Cruel Alpha Bully

“But I wasn’t with anyone else! Surely, she knows by now how much I want her. We’ve been doing so great.”

I can’t stand the happy memories that come flooding back to me again, and I take another swallow of beer, trying to drown them out.

I miss her so much.

“She doesn’t want me,” I say sadly. “That’s the issue here. She never wanted to be with me in the first place. I asked if she wanted to split; she said yes. If she really cared about me, she would have told me about the baby right away.”

“That is rough,” Jack agrees.

“If she really wanted the baby, and me, if everything we’ve shared together has been real, she would have run straight to me and told me.” I shake my head, finishing my beer. “The only explanation is she doesn’t really want to be with me.”

“Bae, buddy,” Jack says, putting down his beer to look right into my face, “there is the other girl thing. That’s real, but it’s a symptom of a deeper problem.”

I nod. “Her getting caught in the mate bond. Not really wanting to be with me, but being forced to stay in it.”

“Oh, man,” Jack shakes his head. “I always knew you weren’t the smartest jock in the shed, but this is beyond dumb, Bae.”

“What?”

“That’s exactly how Gina feels. She thinks you’re only in this because of the mate bond, and she wants you to love her for her own sake. Not because you have to.”

“No.” I shake my head. “No.”

“It’s true, and that’s why she’s so paranoid about other girls,” Jack continues. “Because she thinks you’d rather be with anyone else other than her.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“I’ve just spent quite a few nights listening to it while she smashes endless buckets of ice cream, so yeah, I think it’s legit.”

I groan, covering my face with my hand. “So, when she said yes to breaking the mate bond, she thought it was something I was suggesting because it’s what I wanted.”

“Yep.”

“And the only reason she said yes is because she doesn’t think I want her.”

“Correct.”

“But how can she think that? We’ve been so close the last few weeks. We haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other.”

“Bae, did you ever, even once, say that you love her?”

“Of course I did…” I say, then frown. “I think I did.”

“Have you admitted it to yourself?”

“Only just now. Like this second.” I bury my face deeper in my hands.

“She says it excited her how much you wanted her, but it kept making her feel bad because you never said you loved her and wanted to be with her. It seemed like it was all just attraction—pheromones, or fate. Not choice.”

I’m racking my brain now, thinking back over the last few weeks, desperately searching for an instance where I told her how I feel. I can’t be completely sure, but I don’t think I ever actually said the L word. If I did, it was in a moment of intensity that could easily be overlooked.

I sure as hell never went into any detail about how much I love her, or the reasons why.

“Oh my God,” I say, the words coming out as a defeated sigh. “No, I don’t think I ever really told her.”

“Without that reassurance, she’s been dying inside, man.”

“Fuck.”

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