Page 17 of These Wicked Desires

Cole turns his attention to the cabin. “I didn’t know we owned a cabin.”

“Yeah. You were only a pup the last time we visited with dad.” I still remember that visit. Dad wasn’t doing well, but he wanted the family to spend some time together away from pack responsibilities. Cole was three and an absolute menace. He got into everything he wasn’t supposed to, and I made sure to help him as much as I could. Mom saw all of it, and let most of it slide.

Cole grunts and runs his hands through his thick, black hair. “Want to take a walk?”

“Sure.” I head for the trees to the right of the house, but Cole pauses.

“You’re just going to leave your mate here unprotected?”

“She’s not unprotected. Cade and Kai are here.”

He stares at me and blinks slowly in disbelief. “You trust her safety with someone else?” he asks incredulously.

Wolves are notoriously over protective of their mates. Luckily, mine has two others bonded to her to keep her safe. That gives my wolf the ability to be a bit more chill than others.

I smile. “Yeah. She’s perfectly safe with them.”

Cole shakes his head in disbelief but follows me. We walk in silence, weaving through the pine trees. The moon lights a dappled path through for us. Dead needles crunch under our feet, and the scent of nature and prey drifts to us on the breeze. My wolf wants to run, to hunt. But he’ll have to wait.

“So,” I say, clearing my throat.

He sighs. “Ellis came to talk to me.”

“Yeah, I know. She did that without my knowledge, by the way.” The paralyzing fear I experienced during that time resurfaces, and I rub my chest to make it go away.

“She told me a little bit about her life.” He swallows, the sound loud in the quiet forest. “And damn, she went through a lot.”

I nod, anger curling in my gut just thinking about Sam and what he did to her. “Yeah, she’s been through hell and back. But it only made her stronger in the end.”

Cole pauses and leans against a tree, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Mom’s pretty much in love with her.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I say, smiling. It makes my heart happy to know I have given my mom something positive to think about.

“So, what’s your story, then?” Cole looks at me, cutting straight to chase. His blue eyes, so similar to mine, pierce through me.

I take a deep breath and sit on a fallen log, staring at the ground. If Ellis can share her story, with all the horrible aspects of her past, then I can share mine. “I guess it all started when dad died.” That day was horrible. The collective howl of mourning from the pack still echoes in my mind. “I was too young to take dad’s place, and it didn’t take long for Noah to gain control of the pack.”

Cole grunts and I run a hand down my face, refusing to look at him. I don’t know what I’ll do if I see a negative expression on his face.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, he used me and you against mom. She had to do what he said or else he threatened to hurt us. Well, he did that to me too. He made me do what he wanted, and threatened you and mom if I didn’t. He told me if I challenged him for alpha, he’d kill you guys. So I spent those years after dad’s death doing Noah’s bidding.”

I risk a glance at Cole. He’s looking at the ground, chewing on his bottom lip. None of this should come as a surprise to him. I’m sure our mom has told him what happened.

“One of the things Noah tasked me with, was joining the group of wolves he ordered to kill Ellis, her mom, and her sister.” I push up from the log, unable to sit still as I talk about that horrid night. “I knew as soon as I stepped into the house my mate was there. I followed her scent to the kitchen, to the pantry she was hiding in. I contemplated grabbing her and running. But she was only sixteen, and her family had just been murdered. It wouldn’t have gone over well for me.”

I pace between two trees and face the rush of feelings head on. “I still remember the mix of emotions inside me that night. Joy at finding my mate. Terror at realizing Noah wanted her dead. Heartache at losing her right after I found her.

“I kept her safe that night. I told Noah she wasn’t there and I convinced him to let it go. Whatever reasons he wanted her dead, he dropped. I kept an eye on her after that. I made sure she was safe. I made sure Noah never got it into his head again to hurt her. It was pure torture, watching her from afar and not being able to go to her. Not being able to claim her was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Why did Noah let it go? Why did he want her family dead?” Cole asks quietly.

“I didn’t know at the time. But we found out later that Noah was her father. She and her sister were the result of an affair, which is why neither of them had powers. No shifting, no magic. Nothing. Noah didn’t want to risk either of them coming back to challenge him, despite the fact they were human.” And probably because he found out from Sam that one of them had some kind of special power, not that Cole needs to know that yet.

I sit back down on the log and rest my elbows on my knees. “The night I left the pack, my wolf took over. He tried to challenge Noah. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get control of him. Alex fought me. Gave me this scar.” I finger the smooth, raised line running from above my right eyebrow to below my eye. “That was the only thing that gave me the ability to take control back from my wolf. I left. I had to. I couldn’t risk my wolf taking over again. I couldn’t risk challenging Noah and having him hurt you or mom.”

I look at him finally. He’s watching me, but I can’t read the expression on his face. “It wasn’t easy, Cole.” I have to clear my throat at the thickness that gathers. “Choosing to leave my family behind, knowing they were stuck living under that bastard’s rule. It tore me up. But I thought it was for the best. At least you were still alive.”

He looks away. “So you just lived your life of luxury knowing mom and I were living with that bastard.”

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