Page 14 of These Wicked Desires

She sucks in a breath, shoulders shaking, and silver lines her eyes as tears gather on her lashes. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, her words almost being blown away in the slight early morning breeze. “I messed up, and I’m so, so sorry.”

Unable to stop myself, I climb the steps to her and pull her into my arms. She shudders and collapses against me as her tears finally spill over. The tension inside me settles with her in my arms. Even the monster calms down. I carry her to the porch swing and settle her in my lap with her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, too,” I say, rubbing her back gently.

“I just?—”

“Shh, it’s okay. I talked to Sterling already. You don’t need to explain yourself again. And it’s not entirely your fault.” She shifts to look at me with a questioning gaze. “You didn’t trust us to let you make a decision you felt you needed to make. And that’s on us. We need to do a better job of trusting you.” I sigh and tug her head against my shoulder again. “You were right. We would have said no, and we shouldn’t have. We need to listen to you and your instincts more, instead of just ours. You're ultimately more powerful than us, and your purpose is greater than ours. We need to remember that.”

“I don’t want you to think you can boss me around just because I’m your beloved,” she says quietly, not quite looking me in the eye. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not heard, so I think that’s why I did this without telling you guys.”

I release a breath, trying my best to ignore the way my stomach flips at her words. “Fuck, Ellis. I never want you to feel that way. And I’m sorry if I’ve done that. I mean it. Your happiness and safety are my top priorities. I guess sometimes I focus too much on the safety part.”

She says nothing, but she tucks herself tighter against me, and I press a kiss to the top of her head. We sit that way for a few minutes, watching the moon sink below the horizon as the sun begins to make its ascent, painting the sky a brilliant shade of pink and orange. I’ll have to go inside soon, but there is one more thing I need to say to her.

“Ellis, I’m sorry I hurt you when I fed from Cade.”

She stiffens in my arms, and the thread of contentment I could feel from her disappears, replaced with jealousy and heartache. I don’t like that bitter taste of jealousy in my mouth. She’s never shown that before when Cade and I have been together.

“I needed to calm the monster. It was out of control, and I was worried I would take too much and hurt you.” I push her away so I can look at her, I need her to understand why I did it. “I had no way of knowing what I’d end up doing if I fed from you. For all I know, the monster could have taken over, I could have ended up killing you.” The shudder that runs through me is entirely involuntary. Just the thought of … I shake myself to stop that train of thought.

Her amber eyes search mine and she slowly nods. “I get it,” she whispers. “I trust you, though. The monster doesn’t scare me, and I honestly don’t think it would harm me. But I can respect your decision. Even if I didn’t like it.”

I take her face in my palms, wiping away the stray tears that still leak from her eyes. “You will always be my first choice, baby girl. Cade’s blood helps, but it’s not the same. You are my beloved, and only your blood can truly satisfy me.”

Tears swim in her eyes, and she reaches up to brush her hair from her neck, tilting her head to the side as she does so. I brush my nose along her throat, inhaling her scent and my heart kicks up, both of us reacting to and matching the other. She needs this as much as I do. To wipe away the hurt, to satisfy the need only she can fulfill.

“I love you, Ellis,” I mumble against her skin, kissing my mark and making her shudder.

She gasps as I sink my fangs into her neck. That first taste of her blood on my tongue makes me groan. Nothing will ever compare to it. Rich and dark. Like the most decadent chocolate.

I have no intention of making this sexual. This moment is all about repairing trust and moving forward. Ellis has other ideas though. Her hips grind against mine and I can’t resist sliding my hands up her thighs and under the t-shirt she’s wearing—Sterling’s from the scent. I really fucking love when she wears only a t-shirt. Her skin is smooth and warm under my palms and I grip her ass, tugging her down on my hardening cock so she can rub against it.

Before I know what she’s doing, her hands are at my waist, yanking my sweats down and wrapping her hand around my length. I groan as my hips lift, seeking more from her. She gives me what I want—what we both want. Slowly, she slides down onto my cock, her wet heat enveloping me. Her hands move to my hair, tangling in the strands as she rolls her hips in a delicious pattern.

I usually would’t keep my fangs in her neck while we fucked. There is too much of a risk of tearing through her artery with our movements. But this is slow and sensual. There is nothing rough or hurried about it. I slow my sucking, not wanting to take too much, but not willing to stop either.

“Make me come, Kai,” she breathes.

Fuck. With pleasure. It takes a single thought from me to make the feeding sexual—well, more sexual than it already is. She cries out as pleasure rocks her body, her core tightening around me. I slide one hand between us and press down on her clit, and she loses it. I have to remove my fangs as she jerks when her orgasm overcomes her. Her pussy clenching around my cock, her breathy moans, and the way she whispers my name send me over the edge with lightning shooting through my veins.

When we still, she lays her head on my shoulder, and the contentment and peace I felt earlier once again brush against my barriers. The monster is calm, practically purring at having Ellis in our arms again.

“We’re okay?” she asks, her words slurred and lazy.

My heart matches hers, steady and slowing down. “We’re okay, baby girl. We’ll always be okay.”

She snuggles closer and I smile. Picking her up, I carry her inside and up the stairs to her two other Shields.

Sterling

It took a few days, but we’re all finally back on the same sleep schedule—awake at night and sleeping during the day. Although I sleep less than the others, something about my shifter nature, or maybe my wolf, requires less sleep than most people. We’ve developed a morning routine, even though our morning is at night, which includes me, Cade, and Kai waking up early to eat breakfast—at least for Cade and me—and have a cup of coffee or tea. We let Ellis sleep in as late as possible before we wake her for more training.

Cade grunts where he sits at the table with his almost empty plate of breakfast. He’s staring at his phone, brows pulled down into a V. “They found another body in the river,” he says. “The same strange syringe marks and wounds as the others.”

“Where was it found?” I ask, taking my plate to the sink to rinse.

“A few miles from the warehouse.” Cade scrolls some more, frown deepening. “They identified the body as a missing human, but when the coroner did his exam, they found traces of magic in his bloodstream.”

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