Page 20 of These Wicked Desires

“Fuck!” I hear Kai and Sterling yell through the ringing in my ears.

“Ellis!” Cade’s voice is scared, shaky and breathless.

I can’t feel anything. I don’t know if I’m standing, sitting, or lying down. I think my eyes are open, but I can’t see anything. All I can tell is that my heart is racing faster than it ever has. It’s pumping so hard and so fast it’s tripping over itself, the rhythm erratic. Thump-thu-thump-thump-thu-thump.

“Ellis, baby girl, open your eyes. Look at me.” Kai’s voice is closer now, strained and barely controlled.

I guess my eyes are closed. I try to open them, but I’m not sure if I’m successful. Everything is still black. The longer my heart races, the harder my breathing becomes. Like my lungs are trying to inflate at the same pace as my heart. My head feels fuzzy amid all of the numbness, and each thought in my mind floats past like a cloud on a breeze, just out of reach.

“Ellis. Shit, Ellis are you okay?” Cade’s frantic words are muffled as the fuzziness increases. Something warm pulses around me, and from the depths of my slowly unraveling consciousness, I know it’s Cade’s magic.

I attempt to open my mouth, but I’m not sure if I do. I really have no idea what my body is doing. I’m cold, though. I do know that.

“Heal her, Cade,” Kai says. “Her heart rate is all over the place.” His words sound pained, like his heart matching mine is causing him discomfort.

Vaguely I notice a purple glow in my vision, or maybe it's behind my closed eyelids. Warmth surrounds me, fighting off the chill that had started to settle in, making me shiver. It floods through my body, flowing through my veins and permeating every bone, muscle, and organ. The rapid, chaotic beat of my heart slows and steadies. My lungs calm, and my breathing becomes easier. The fuzziness lifts, and I’m able to think coherently again.

I open my eyes to find the guys hovering over me. My head is in Kai’s lap, and his fingers shakily brush back my curls over and over. Cade’s violet gaze is wide in his pale face as he scans me.

“Are you okay, Ellis?” he rasps. His chest is rising and falling as rapidly as mine had been just a moment ago. Purple sparks sizzle at his trembling fingertips and he fists his hands in the grass as if to hide the lack of control.

I nod my head, glad that I’m able to do so. My entire body feels like a wet noodle though, and I’m not sure if that is because of the practice, the blast of magic, or a combo of both. “I think so,” I mumble.

Cade exhales heavily and drops his head to my shoulder, arms wrapping around me tightly. “I am so sorry, Ellis. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard and put you at risk. This won’t happen again. I promise.”

I want to tell him it’s okay. That I don’t blame him. That I need to be pushed, as much as I hate it. But my energy is quickly fading. The effort it would take to open my mouth is too much. I pat his arm, all I’m able to manage, and release a breath, closing my eyes. They’re too heavy to keep open anyway.

“Get her upstairs to bed,” Sterling says.

The world swoops as I’m lifted in someone’s arms. By the cherries and spice scent clinging to the shirt my face is buried in, it’s Kai. I pull that smell into my lungs and let it comfort me. The safety of knowing I’m tucked against his chest, and the motion of him walking, causes my eyelids to get heavier and heavier until I can’t fight it anymore.

The pull of sleep is strong when I finally climb from the darkness. My body still feels like wet noodles, and my eyelids still weigh hundreds of pounds. But a comforting presence pulls me into consciousness.

My wings are still out, so Kai must have laid me on my side. Cade is pressed against my front, his arms wrapped around my middle and his head pressed against my chest, like he needs the reminder of my heart beating to know I’m okay. It takes monumental effort to lift my arm and run my fingers through his hair.

He stirs, tucking closer and mumbling in his sleep. I trace his jaw with my finger, his stubble tickling and scratching, and when I reach his lips and brush over them, his eyes flutter open. I could get lost in that violet stare.

“Ellis,” he breathes, leaning up on his elbow. He cups my cheek, his thumb brushing back and forth. “I am so, so sorry.” Immense sadness and regret darken his eyes.

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “It was an accident.”

He shakes his head, clenching his jaw. “It’s not okay. Me hurting you will never be okay. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.”

“I need to be pushed hard, though. Our enemies won’t go easy on me, and I need to be prepared. It’s the only way to learn,” I say. “I don’t enjoy the training, but I know it’s important. Accidents happen, Cade. I know as long as you’re here I’ll be fine. If I get hurt during training, you can heal me.”

“I don’t want to be the one to hurt you, love.” His breath leaves him in a rush, fanning over my face and warming my skin. “Shit, my magic recoiled so hard I probably would have lost it forever if I hadn’t needed it to heal you. I told you it's more sentient now than it ever has been. I almost get the feeling it’s throwing a temper tantrum at me for hurting you.”

I smile at the thought of his magic acting out because of his actions. “Kiss me Cade.”

He shakes his head, still unhappy with the situation but unable to resist giving me what I want. He leans down and presses his lips against mine. Softly at first, then harder. I open my mouth and let his tongue sweep in, claiming me all over again. My blood starts to heat, and I slip my hand under his shirt, feeling his warmth and smooth skin.

Unbidden, a yawn crawls up my throat mid-kiss. Cade pulls away with a grin. “How about you rest some more before we continue this.” He kisses me one last time, and I pout.

“But …”

“No buts.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Sleep, love.”

I can’t fight it. I’m utterly exhausted. Sleep comes again, and this time it's cedar and lilac that follows me into oblivion.

---