Page 36 of These Deadly Dreams

“Sterling,” she whispers.

I take three steps toward her and wrap my arms around her trembling body. She clutches the back of my shirt and sobs into my chest. She’s as tiny as Ellis is, barely reaching my shoulder. And for some reason, she seems smaller, more fragile than she was before. My wolf howls inside me, his anger and grief washing through me and combining with my own.

“Mom.” My voice is a hoarse croak, and I breathe in her scent. Flour and vanilla. She was always baking, the aromas clinging to her like a cloak. I found them comforting when I was child, and now as an adult, I find it just as comforting. I pull back to look at her, and I realize I’m crying when she reaches up to wipe my cheeks.

“My baby. I miss you so much, Sterling.” Her voice wobbles as she fights more tears.

I can’t speak. The lump in my throat is preventing me from doing so. Gods, I miss my family. I hadn’t realized how much until I’m standing with my mom knowing I’ll have to say goodbye again.

A gentle touch on my back draws my attention behind me. Ellis stands there, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. I swallow the lump and clear my throat.

“Ellis, this is my mom, Shari. Mom, this is Ellis. My mate.” If my voice cracks on the word mate I can’t help it. I haven’t introduced her to anyone as my mate yet. Saying it aloud feels so right.

My mom smiles a blindingly bright smile and pulls Ellis in for a hug.

“Oh, dear. I am so happy to meet you.”

Ellis is stiff at first, but then she relaxes into the hug. It makes me wonder if she’s been hugged by a parent since her mother’s death. Of course, on the heels of that thought, comes the reminder I’m part of the cause of her mother’s death.

There are so many emotions whirling through me right now, I’m not sure what to do. I want to fall to the ground and cry. I want to beg Ellis for forgiveness I don’t deserve. I want to grab my mom and take her away from here. Instead, I stand stupidly in Noah Martin’s kitchen and watch my mate and my mom hug. I take a deep breath and force all the emotions down. I’ll deal with them later. Or never.

“Come, sit down,” my mom says as she pulls away from Ellis. “We don’t have a lot of time. I want to learn as much as I can.”

She leads us to the living room, and I sit next to her on a pale green sofa while Ellis sits in a matching chair.

“Where’s Cole?” I ask, finally realizing he isn’t here.

“Right here.”

I spin at the sound of the deep baritone voice and gape. My baby brother isn’t a baby anymore. I knew he wouldn’t be, but I wasn’t fully prepared to see a man leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His black hair, like our moms, is long and tied back. A full beard covers the lower half of his face, and his bright blue eyes shine with anger.

“Cole,” I breathe.

He snorts and shakes his head. “Unbelievable. You come back here and act like we should fall over ourselves to welcome you home. Like you haven’t abandoned us to go live your life of fame and luxury.”

Shocked, I jerk back. My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I don’t even know what to think, let alone say. The last time I saw Cole he was a five year old pup filled with joy and life who laughed at everything and hung onto every word I said. Now he looks at me like I’m the enemy.

“Cole, stop,” mom says quietly. “I haven’t seen my son in years. Don’t ruin it for me.”

He says nothing else, but his eyes seethe with anger. Satisfied, my mom turns back to Ellis.

“Ellis, tell me about yourself. I feel like I have so much to learn.”

Ellis shifts in her chair, shoulders turning inward as everyone’s focus lands on her. Her uncertainty is endearing and it makes me smile.

“Ellis likes to box,” I say, stepping in to save her. “Actually, the first time we met she broke my nose.”

My mom gasps, but her eyes shine with mirth. “And how did you meet?”

I look at Ellis, letting her answer this question. It’s up to her how much she wants to share.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard about the contest my … my dad created. Sterling joined Malakai and unofficially participated in it.” Her brows furrow and a slight frown pulls her lips down. “If it hadn’t been for that, I never would have met him,” she says quietly, almost to herself.

I wish I could know what’s going on in her head. Why does she look so contemplative?

“Fate,” my mom says, smiling brightly. “Fate will always find a way.”

Ellis looks at me, and it's as if a weight has been lifted from her shoulders as she exhales. The contemplation leaves her eyes, and it’s replaced by something I’ve never seen when she looks at me. Not love, but something similar. Affection, perhaps. I suck in a breath as I stare at her, wanting her to see everything I feel for her. Love, respect, regret, need. All of it. Her eyes gleam as tears build on her lashes and she looks back down to her lap.

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