Page 76 of These Deadly Dreams

“How do we know it’s really her?” Cade asks.

“She looks just like Ellis,” Sterling says quietly, tracing my features as he talks. “The same brown curls, the same facial structure. It was like seeing Ellis there.” He swallows and looks down at his hands in his lap. “Sam used her to try to get me to talk.” He glances back up, eyes shining with unshed tears. “She mouthed the words ‘Don’t give in,’ before Sam … before he …”

I cover my mouth with a shaky hand. “What did he do to her?” I whisper. It doesn’t take a lot for my imagination to conjure the possibilities. I went through my own torture at Sam’s hands.

Sterling’s eyes soften. “Not the same. But, Ellis, I’m sorry. I let it happen. He wanted me to give in. He hoped watching my mate’s sister being—” he cuts off and swallows. “I didn’t give in, Ellis. I couldn’t. I let him hurt your sister, and I did nothing to stop it. My only thought was to protect you.”

The pain in his voice is what draws me from the fog of disbelief. I blink away the tears, and focus on my mate. If I had Kai’s empath abilities, I know what I would feel from him. Guilt. Regret. Sorrow. And the most prominent, fear. He’s scared I’m going to change my mind after hearing he didn’t stop Sam.

“Sterling,” I whisper. My limbs tremble as I crawl toward him. “This doesn’t change anything. You did what you had to, and I don’t blame you for it.”

“How can you possibly say that?”

“Because I would have done the same thing.” It hurts to admit that, but it’s true. “Your safety will always be my priority, just like mine is for you. I get it.” And I do. Cade is the same with his family. The four of us, we are the most important people in each other’s lives now. And I’m okay with that.

His eyes are wide, and I’m not sure he’s breathing as he reaches a hand out to brush his fingers along my cheek. They tremble slightly. “You haven’t changed your mind?”

Despite what I just learned, despite everything that has yet to come, I find myself smiling. “I haven’t changed my mind,” I whisper.

His chest hitches on a breath, and he drags me to his chest. “We’ll get her out,” he promises. “We’ll get her out, Ellis.”

“I don’t understand why she’s still feverish,” Cade says quietly.

I know they’re trying to keep their voices low so they don’t wake me, but they woke me up twenty minutes ago with their hushed conversation. The fever has not gone away, yet. It’s not as bad as it could be, but it still sucks. All I want to do is sleep, but even that is difficult with my shivering and aching muscles.

“How long has it been?” Sterling asks. He’s sitting next to me in the bed. As far as I’m aware, he hasn’t moved from this spot.

“Almost twenty-four hours.” Kai’s tone is somber, missing his usual laughter. It’s almost enough to make me blow my cover in an attempt to comfort him. “And I know you’re awake, Ellis.”

Rats. I open my gritty eyes and stare at him. “How’d you know?”

He huffs. “Your emotions are all over the place. Your heart rate is increasing. Your breathing is uneven. Shall I go on?”

“Fuck off,” I mutter as I snuggle back under the blankets.

“Are you hungry?” Cade’s fingers brush over my forehead. “You’ve hardly eaten.”

I don’t feel like answering him. All of my energy has been sucked away by this fever, along with the discovery of my sister still being alive. The effort it would take to answer him, let alone actually eat, is not worth it. I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep, but their conversation keeps me awake.

“Sterling, do you think you can get in contact with that old shifter?” Kai asks. “Maybe she’ll have answers.”

“It’s worth a shot,” he agrees. The bed shifts as Sterling climbs out, and I want to grab him to keep him next to me, but again, that would take too much effort.

“Ellis,” Cade says softly. “Will you at least drink something?”

I don’t answer. Finding the words and dragging them up my throat is like staring at a vast desert expanse and hoping to find a specific grain of sand—daunting and impossible. The very thought weighs my limbs down until it’s impossible to move.

“Allie is still here,” Cade continues. “She’s really worried about you. We’re all worried about you. If you don’t start eating and drinking, Allie will have to give you an IV.”

I try to grunt my acknowledgement of their concern, but I don’t think I succeed. I’m not trying to worry them, but I just can’t bring myself to do anything.

“Drew is going to pick up Agatha and bring her here,” Sterling says as he comes back to the room. The bed dips as he settles to my left again. I try to reach for him on instinct, but my arms don’t seem to want to move. “It’s okay,” he whispers, tucking my hair behind my ear. “We’re going to make sure you’re okay.”

33. Sterling

Ellis’s words have been on repeat since our conversation. She wants me. She’s choosing me and the bond. Despite everything that’s happened and everything I’ve done, I’m going to get the chance to be with my mate. If only this fever would break.

Since I woke up over a day ago, I’ve only left her side long enough to shower and only because Cade convinced me to. Honestly, getting all that blood out of my hair and combing out the tangles made me feel ten times better.

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