Page 41 of These Deadly Dreams

“I also told my dad we were taking a vacation, so he won’t bother us about new missions,” Kai adds. “He wasn’t too thrilled with it, but he’s so focused on finding the proof he needs to blame Sam, he didn’t put up much of a fight. The fucker did mention making sure I brought Ellis back when I come home. Not likely, asshole.”

“Good deal,” Sterling says, standing from his chair. “Everyone get some rest. Tomorrow we’ll get that proof we need.”

14. Sterling

Ellis is pissed. She won’t look at me for longer than a few seconds, and the not so subtle glares out of the corner of her eyes speak volumes. Not to mention the acid dripping from her voice every time she has to speak to me. I regret taking her to my moms. I regret the entire visit. Cole’s words have sunken deep, pierced flesh and bone, and left gaping open wounds that won’t stop bleeding. I understand his anger. Perhaps that’s why it hurts so much. Because I know it’s deserved. Every word he spoke was true, and if our roles were reversed, I’d react the same way, I’m sure.

But Ellis suddenly changing her mind about the bond after hearing his words, and meeting my mom? I know she doesn’t really mean it. How can she after what I did to her? And Ellis being who she is, caring and supportive, would tie herself to me just to ensure my family is safe. I appreciate the gesture, more than she’ll ever know. But I can’t let her accept the bond for that reason alone. If she is going to tie herself to me, she’s going to do it for the right reason. Because she wants me.

The front door to the cabin opens, and the scent of cedar and lilac hits me where I’m sitting on the steps. I groan inwardly, really not wanting to have this conversation. Cade lowers himself next to me on the steps, and for a few minutes, we sit in silence, enjoying the mountain view and the sounds of birds chirping in the pines.

Eventually, Cade sighs heavily and turns to face me. “Do you think this plan will work?”

I keep my gaze focused on the lake in the distance with the setting sun glinting off the surface. “Yeah. Drew is thorough when he does his research. And with you gaining access to Noah’s security cams and alarm system, I have no doubt we’ll get what we need and be out in minutes.”

Cade snorts. “Noah’s security was a good challenge. It’s been awhile since I had to work so hard to hack into something.”

“I figured it would be. That’s why I gave us a day to figure everything out. He’s not an idiot.”

We lapse into silence once again. In just a few minutes we’ll be heading out to find the proof we need to end this bullshit challenge. Then all we have to worry about is Sam and what his plans are.

“You know, it’s crazy to think about where we were just a few weeks ago,” Cade muses, violet eyes growing distant. “How different life was for us. It makes me realize this whole time I was just skating through life. Not really working toward any one goal. Looking back, it seems like such a sad existence.”

I swallow thickly. He’s not wrong. But at the same time, it hasn’t changed much for me. I always knew Ellis was my mate. The misery of knowing she’s out there, of watching her from afar, has not been easy on me. This time I’ve spent with her, the one time I slept with her, it’s all only made it harder. While Cade and Kai have found the other half of themselves, I’m still floating in limbo. Self-inflicted limbo, that I just can’t seem to climb out of.

“You need to talk to her,” Cade says quietly. It’s like he can read my mind. “Sit down with her and talk about everything. Listen to what she has to say.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know what good that will do. I’m scared it’s too late. There is no way she can honestly accept the bond for the reasons I want.” The ache in my chest grows at the thought and I rub the spot, hoping to ease the pain. It doesn’t work. “I won’t let her accept it just to help me keep my family safe. She’ll regret it later, and I don’t want that. I don’t want her to hate me more than she already does.”

Cade snorts. “You’re both too stubborn for your own good. Give her a chance, Sterling. Don’t make a decision without at least talking to her first.” He stands and slides his hands in the pockets of his black cargo pants. His violet eyes pin me to the spot, weighing and judging. “Don’t hurt her more than you already have.”

Fuck, his words sting. Like pouring salt into my already gaping wounds. Why the fuck would fate give Ellis a mate like me? She deserves so much better.

My muscles burn with the need to move. My wolf paces back and forth inside me, desperate to run, to escape this pain that constantly weighs us down. As fur ripples under my skin, I know I won’t be able to focus tonight until I get this energy out.

I send a quick text to the group chat telling them I’ll meet them at Noah’s office and strip out of my clothes, leaving them on the porch for the others to bring. The change overcomes me, lengthening and shifting my bones until I’m standing on all fours. It doesn’t make the ache disappear. If anything, being in wolf form makes it worse. Like the connection to Ellis is stronger in this form, and the pain is more fierce, more constant than in my human form.

Tipping our head back, we lift our muzzle to the sky and let out all of the pain and heartache in a soul-wrenching howl before tearing off into the night. The wind in our fur, the scent of pine and mountain air in our lungs, our muscles burning as we run faster than we ever have, it focuses us like nothing else can. We lose ourselves to the motions and the scenery blurring by as we race down the mountain and through the woods. Cool water splashes between our paws as we dash through streams. Our ears and nose twitch as the scent and sound of running prey reaches us, but we ignore it. Tonight is not for hunting.

As we dash around trees and over fallen logs, the moon provides a path for us to follow. The silver light reflects off the ground, leading us through the darkness. I wish it could lead me through my own darkness. We take the long way to Noah’s office, needing to burn off the energy and distract ourselves from the negative thoughts threatening to drown us. We can’t let our emotions get in the way of being able to think rationally.

When Noah’s office comes into view, we slow to a steady lope. We can hear the Charger down the street, and we wait to approach the building until we know Cade has disabled the cameras. A crow caws as it lands on the roof of Noah’s office, and we give Drew a nod of our head in acknowledgement. As the car pulls up, our gaze is immediately drawn to Ellis sitting in the front seat. She’s a magnet that draws us in no matter where we are.

Cade pops out of the car with his iPad in hand and nods toward the office. “We’re good. I have the cameras feeding back a loop and the security system has been disarmed.”

I shift back into my human form as Ellis climbs out of the car and walks around the hood. Her gaze is like a brand on my skin, and just knowing she’s looking makes my dick harden. She stumbles, catching herself on the hood with a curse that would make Kai proud. Hurrying to the car, I grab my clothes from the backseat and throw them on in record time. Normally, I would have no problem teasing her. It just doesn’t seem right to do so with whatever is happening between us.

I glance at everyone, my gaze snagging on Ellis as she sidles closer to Kai. “Are we ready?”

“Let’s do this,” Kai says, wrapping his arm around Ellis’s shoulders.

Cade climbs the steps first and violet light flares around his hand as his magic slides inside the keyhole and flips the lock. He slowly turns the knob and lets the door swing inward. While we wait for Cade to scope the place with his abilities, my gaze travels to Ellis again. She’s looking at Kai like he hung the fucking moon as he tucks a stray curl behind her ear and says something that makes her smile.

My wolf growls low in my chest. It fucking hurts. Like a hot knife slicing through my heart. What have I done in my life to deserve this fate that has befallen me? Why can’t it all be easier than it is? Rubbing my chest, I force my gaze to the front door.

“We’re clear,” Cade says, popping his head out then disappearing inside again.

I nod one last time to Drew, who will remain on the roof keeping watch, and follow Ellis and Kai through the doorway.

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