“You better start explaining yourself,” Kai says in a deathly quiet voice.

The small hairs on my arms stand to attention at his tone. That is the voice of a predator who is hellbent on protecting his beloved.

“I guess to fully understand, I have to start back when my dad died.” Sterling sighs and sits in a chair across from us, still not looking at Ellis. “My dad was the alpha of the Iron Shadows pack. He died of a rare cancer that only affects wolves. I was too young to assume the title of alpha, though had I been older, I would have. Instead, Noah Martin stepped into the role. He’d been thirsting after the title for as long as anyone could remember. He forced my mother into marriage, threatened her children’s lives if she didn’t comply. He was abusive, not too dissimilar from Sam, actually.” He glances at Ellis before looking back at the floor. “When I was old enough to take part in pack missions, he used my mom and little brother as leverage to get me to comply with his orders. Orders I never approved of, but had no choice but to follow. For my family’s sake.”

Out of all of our histories, Sterling’s always hit me the hardest. It’s horrible what happened to Kai’s mom, but at least she isn’t suffering under some asshole’s thumb like Sterling’s mom still is. Like mine is.

“One night, he came to me and told me we had business to attend to. He didn’t tell me what was happening until we arrived at your house. I knew who lived there, but I shut myself down from feeling anything, just like I did with every other mission. The orders were simple. Kill everyone.” He pauses and takes a deep breath. When he continues, his voice is filled with emotion. “As soon as I stepped foot in the house, I knew. Your scent hit me hard enough to rock me back a step. Somewhere in that house was my mate, and I’d been ordered to kill her and her family.”

Mate?

Ellis isn’t breathing. She looks absolutely devastated. Unfathomable sadness shines in her tear filled eyes, a mix of betrayal, hurt, and disbelief. Her lips tremble and she presses them together to hide it. I watch her breathing closely. Each one comes faster and shallower than the one before. She’s on the verge of a panic attack.

“I searched you out immediately,” Sterling continues. “Your scent led me to the kitchen and the pantry where you were hiding. I debated then and there, grabbing you and running. Taking you as far from this place as I could. But I knew you would fight me. Instead, I decided to make sure you lived through the night and then I would walk away. It was safest for you that way. If Noah knew you were my mate, he would kill you without question.

“I pretended like I searched the kitchen but didn’t find you. When the other’s search turned up empty-handed, Noah gave up. We were running out of time, and we had to get out and wipe the footage from the security cameras before your dad got home.” Sterling swallows hard and closes his eyes. As he exhales, his entire body deflates, head hanging down and shoulders slumped forward—defeated.

“Walking away from you that night was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.” His voice cracks, but he pushes on. “I knew I would never have the chance to be with you, but I swore that night that I would protect you anyway I could. I’ve kept tabs on you all these years. I’ve made sure Noah never got it in his head to go after you again.” He raises his head and looks at Ellis. Tears shimmer in his winter eyes. “I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was part of it at all. I’m sorry I never told you. I just … I couldn’t bear the thought of you looking at me like you are right now.”

Ellis is quiet for a moment. The only sound in the room, her rapid breathing. “You slept with me,” she whispers brokenly. “You slept with me but never told me you were there the night my family was taken from me. All this time you could have told me, but you didn’t.” She doesn’t yell. Her voice remains quiet, broken. It hits harder than any screaming ever could. She stands and snatches Kai’s phone from the coffee table before she dashes for the door to the patio.

“Ellis …” Kai starts.

“No,” she gasps through her tears. “I need to be alone.”

The door slams behind her, and I don’t know what to do. Every instinct in my body is telling me to go to her, to make sure she’s okay. But I know she doesn’t want my comfort right now. Instead, I stare at Sterling. All these years and he never told us. He never told us he has a mate. Never told us about that night.

Looking back, I can see the changes in him. Sterling has always been the serious one of the group, but never quite so distant. After that night, he changed. He was more reserved. He didn’t smile as much. He would disappear without a word and reappear the same. Now, I know he was keeping tabs on Ellis.

Holy shit. Mate.

I glance at Kai, who is staring at Sterling like he wants to tear his throat out, and I don’t blame him. But at the same time, I wonder how it’s possible Ellis is Kai’s beloved and Sterling’s mate. What are the chances a human girl could be bound to not one, but two magicals? A slimy bit of jealousy spreads through me, but I stomp on it. Hard. I won’t be that kind of person. My brothers are incredibly lucky, and I’m happy for them. I won’t let envy ruin what we have.

Faint growling rumbles through the room, and I glance at Kai. His body is tight as a bowstring, vibrating with barely restrained fury. Red creeps into the gray of his eyes, and his fangs have lengthened threateningly.

“Kai, come on.” I grab his shoulder and push him to the door. “You need to calm down, and we need to give them time to talk once Ellis has processed everything.”

He snarls at me and snaps his teeth in my direction. Great. Now I have an almost feral vampire to deal with.

“I know,” I placate. “I want to hurt him, too, but we can’t. Let’s go get ourselves under control before we do something we'll regret.”

Cade

Two hours of Kai pacing back and forth has set me on edge. My skin is crawling and I swear one wrong word from anyone, and I’ll snap. Kai’s had enough blood bourbon that his steps are uneven, and I’m not far behind him, to be honest. I tip back my glass of regular bourbon, reveling in the burn as it slides down my throat. It’s better than the anxious nausea that has settled in my stomach since Sterling’s confession.

Mate. Beloved. The wheels are turning, but the connection I’m looking for keeps eluding me. There is something bigger going on—bigger than the contest, bigger than our feelings for her. The pieces of the puzzle are floating around in my brain, but I can’t make any of them connect to show me the full picture.

Kai’s mumbling draws me out of my thoughts. I only catch a bit, but it’s enough to make me laugh, despite the severity of the situation. “You can’t put a bark collar on him, Kai,” I say, setting my glass down. “That’s not nearly painful enough, anyway.”

“You’re right,” he growls. “I’ll pull his teeth out one by one, followed by his fingernails, then his toenails. I’ll slice open his veins so he slowly bleeds out—”

“Okay,” I sigh, cutting him off. “I get it, Kai. I’m just as pissed as you are, but we need to let them work it out. This is between her and Sterling. As much as we want to intervene, as much as we want to rush to her side and care for her, you know we can’t. She won’t appreciate us handling this for her.”

Kai pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. “Yeah, I know. It’s just hard ignoring my instincts to protect her. I want to eliminate any threat, and right now, Sterling is a threat.” He paces a few more times before he stops again. “I can’t believe he didn’t say anything to her.”

I snort. “Like you have room to talk. You were going to keep the fact she was your beloved from her for the exact same reasons. To keep her safe.”

“But this is different. I didn’t have anything to do with her mom and sister’s murders.”