Page 42 of Steamy Ever After

"Don't shut me out."

An uneasy silence follows, and my jaw tightens at the idea she's proposing. She inches her foot next to mine until the touch connects us.

"I'm suggesting this because this 'thing' gets you in its grip and I think it's robbing you of joy." She inhales a deep breath and lets out a sigh, shaking her head in a slight motion as she looks out at the waves. "I don't know, Carter. I know whatever goes on in your head makes you think that life has to be perfect, but it isn't. It's messy and chaotic and it will never meet your standards because you're always reaching for that next brass ring. Just when you think you've done one thing well, your brain tells you that you could have done better."

I turn away. I've heard enough. I feel exposed.

"Please, stop."

She grabs my arm. Our eyes meet and the turmoil I feel comes to a halt. Looking into Lacey's eyes is my anchor. The grounding effect of her love is all that I want for the rest of my life. If she were anyone else, I'd feel criticized but the only thing I feel at the moment is care and concern.

"Life is messy," she says as a tender smile curves her mouth. "It's chaotic but wonderful, and so worth all the mishmash. It's in those moments of complete disarray that you muddle through the crap and find something beautiful."

Her words pierce through the turmoil twisting in my mind, and, for a moment, I allow myself to consider what could be, instead of what should be. I raise my hand to her cheek, and she smiles.

"Woman, you have no idea what you do to me." Her smile widens and her emerald eyes shine in the morning light. "Lacey Michelle, you are the only person who can make me see things with more clarity than I believe I have on my own."

She rolls her eyes and shrugs. "It's a gift."

Suddenly, the angst I've been feeling for the better part of the night and morning drifts away with the easy breeze. A chuckle escapes as my hand takes hers. "I don't know if I want it to go away. My brain works better when I have plans and expectations. It's probably why I did so well when I was in the service."

"Maybe." Her brow hikes. "But for those of us who love you, it can be a bit suffocating."

"I'll think about it, okay?"

"That's all I'm asking."

CHAPTER 8

Lacey

My mind is clearer. My heart is lighter. I feel refreshed.

I agonized over having a conversation about a difficult topic and, now that it's taken place, I'm relieved.

After we decided to forego our run this morning, I left Carter with Declan on the porch with fresh coffee. Hopefully, they'll enjoy some 'bro time’ in the quiet of the morning before joining their mother in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Beautiful. How are you today?"

"It's a little too early to be up and about if you ask me, but here I am," Rose scoffs. "I try to listen to my body when I'm on vacation. You know what I mean, right? I eat when I'm hungry, sleep in a little later ... vacate my normal, everyday life when I get up at six a.m." She smiles. It's obvious this is a special time for her, despite her lazy morning desire because the grin crinkles the corners of her eyes. "I see my boys are up. I'm going to make breakfast."

She goes about her business as I sit quietly. I miss my mother and watching as Rose rummages through the cupboards to get the needed pots and pans reminds me of mine and Mom's lazy weekends. Though Rose seems relaxed, the longer I take in her actions the more I think she looks worn. If I had to take a guess it would be the aftereffect of yesterday's argument.

"Can I help? You look like you might have had a restless night."

"No, thank you. You're too perceptive, Lacey. The argument left me exhausted. I tossed and turned all night. My boys don't often argue, and I don't like it when they do."

"I spoke with Carter this morning. I think I might have convinced him to speak to someone about his obsessive-compulsive disorder."

She stops what she's doing and gives me a surprised look.

"What? You don't think he has a problem?"

"Oh, I know he has a problem. He's been like this since he was a teenager."

"He told me. He thinks he knows exactly when it started."

"He told you that?" She pauses. "When did he say?"

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