Page 150 of Steamy Ever After

She prepped the coffee and hit start, deciding to take a shower while it brewed. Last night was one more perfect example of her gullible faith in the wrong people. She spent years waiting around for her dad to change and picked men almost certain to run from her.

Why? What sort of self-sabotaging psychopath lived like that? Did she want to be alone?

No. Deep down she wanted to be loved, but a lifetime under this roof had convinced her she was simply unlovable. A fragile part of her logical self argued that was simply the result of living with an abuser, but the battered parts of her psyche wondered if that was true. Maybe her dad was right. Maybe she’d only ever be a burden.

Her hand paused from wiping up the counter and she stared blankly at the cabinet door. How had she tolerated this house for so long? She left years ago but somehow came back. For what?

He ripped her to emotional shreds and had a temper that could leave bruises for days. What was wrong with her that she would tolerate that?

Even now, as she planned to finally move out and start over, she was terrified he might be right, that the world would reject her and she’d have to come groveling back, needing a place to live. Her experiences with people and jobs in Jasper Falls weren’t that far off. No one liked her, and she had no one she could trust or depend on.

She couldn’t tell if she stayed out of fear or if she stayed because she was some sort of damaged masochist who didn’t know how to leave her abuser. What was that called, Stockholm’s? Could she really be that messed up?

She threw the sponge in the sink and shoved the unwelcomed thought away. But the fear that she might not have the courage to actually leave lingered. Moving to a place where no one knew her seemed like a fresh start, but it also terrified her. Maybe the location didn’t matter. Maybe the problem was her.

Taking an extra-long time in the shower so the hot water could penetrate her sore muscles and wash away the memories of last night, she slowly considered what her next move would be.

She’d need some boxes. Maybe a suitcase. She could head over to the town of Ryder Creek and see if they had any apartments for rent. Maybe see about getting a job waitressing or something. Anything was good enough for now, as long as it kept her alive.

When the water went cold, she wrapped a towel around her body and brushed out her hair, scowling at the damn bruise muddling her face. That would be the last time. She was so sick of buying makeup to cover up his mistakes. No one would hire someone with trouble marked all over their face like that.

“Asshole,” she mumbled, opening the medicine cabinet and shutting it after she grabbed her toothbrush.

She gasped and spun around. For a second she thought she saw her dad, but he wasn’t home. The house was empty and she was losing her mind.

She threw on comfy sweats, wool boots, and an old sweater, then got to packing. A tow truck was already on its way to retrieve her car. She told the mechanic to let her know right away if there was any damage from the accident.

On her third trip through the hall to stack another bag of clothes by the front door, she paused, a strange sensation creeping over her. She wasn’t usually this jumpy.

Heading back to her room, her steps slowed at the edge of the hallway. Her dad’s bedroom door was open. He never left it open. She wanted to shut it so he wouldn’t blame her for snooping, but that was stupid. She was leaving and wouldn’t be there when he got home. He could blame someone else for a change.

Darting past the door, she dashed into her bedroom only to hesitate before closing her door. She backtracked into the hall and paused, a chill trembling up her spine as if the empty house mocked her for being such a coward. She wasn’t a child, but sometimes her childhood fears still taunted her.

Taking a deep breath, she stiffened her shoulders and marched back to her father’s bedroom to shut the stupid door. The pungent scent of aftershave and stale cigarette smoke lingered in the air like a poison she hated to breathe. She grabbed the knob to his door and?—

She stilled, releasing the knob and pressing her hand into the wood. The hinges creaked as the door glided fully open. “Dad?”

Her fingers rushed to her mouth and she backed out of the room, running to her purse where she’d left her cell.

Her fingers shook as she dialed her brother. “Come on, Harrison, pick up.”

She dialed again when the call dumped into voicemail. And a third time, when he still didn’t answer.

His gruff voice sounded half asleep when he answered. “Hello?”

“Harrison?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s Erin.”

He sighed as if the mere reminder of her existence was an inconvenience for him. “What did he do now?”

She swallowed tightly, the walls closing in around her as her vision blurred with building tears of panic. “He died.”

CHAPTER 10

News traveled fast in Jasper Falls. Erin called the coroner, but couldn’t bring herself to wait inside the house with the body, so she was back to standing in the snow and shivering in the cold. Unable to stomach the stillness, she shoveled the walk, refusing any thought that tried to intrude the hollows of her mind.

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