Page 53 of The Doctor's Truth

Donovan reaches out and takes my hand. He squeezes it. “He’s young. He’s strong. He’s got the best team of doctors on his case. Now that we know what it is, we can properly treat it instead of throwing darts at the wall and hoping something sticks. I know it’s scary to hear…but this is a step in the right direction for him.”

His words should be reassuring. But my skin feels numb. My face feels hot. And my insides are screaming.

It’s me and Otto. Against the world.

I pull my hand out of his and tuck it into my lap, folding into myself. Donovan is warm and gentle right now, but his closeness feels like an acid burn on my skin. “I need to see my son.”

Donovan nods, understanding. He doesn’t try to touch me again. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Jason is sitting outside Otto’s room. Loyal watchdog, guarding.

When he sees us approach, he stands immediately. He has concern etched all over his face. “How is he?” he asks.

I know what he’s trying to do—he’s worried. He cares. But he’s in the wrong place at the wrong time. The anger inside of me is whip hot and wants to lash out at someone, and right now, Jason is the perfect target.

“How is he?” I repeat. “You mean, now that he’s not lost on a strange island in the middle of winter?”

He cringes. “I know. I’m sorry. I turned my back for one minute. It won’t happen again.”

“No. It won’t.” Jason is a full foot taller than me, but I find myself going toe-to-toe with him, all blazing fury. “I don’t care if it was one minute or one second. It just proves what I knew all along—every time I start to trust you, you do something so goddamn thoughtless or inconsiderate. You haven’t changed at all.”

“Kenzi.” Donovan says my name as a gentle chastisement.

But Jason shakes his head. “It’s okay.” His mouth draws into a thin line. “You’re angry. You have every right to be. But you know I wouldn’t let anything happen to Otto.”

What I know doesn’t matter. My feelings are in full force right now. The backs of my eyes are stinging, but I will not cry in front of him.

I can’t get the thought out of my head:

If I had been with anyone—anyone—else, Otto might be healthy right now.

The perfect storm. That’s what Jason and I are. That’s what we’ll always be.

“I don’t want you anywhere near me or Otto,” I tell him, my voice trembling. “Do you understand?”

Jason doesn’t say anything to that. The blue eyes—they just look hurt. And confused.

And they look so much like Otto’s that I want to scream.

“Stay away from us,” I tell him and go into the hospital room to be with my son.

29

Donovan

You know the only thing worse than a breakup between two friends?

A breakup between two friends who weren’t even technically dating in the first place.

I’m trying to unwind with Bladerunner and a bottle of wine. Feeling nostalgic, I guess, I picked up a bottle of nail polish on my way home on a whim. Now, I’m coating my thumbnail in black. You can take the boy off Myspace, but you can’t take the Myspace out of the boy. It’s relaxing in a soul-calming way. Maybe there is something to this mediation shit Jason keeps talking about.

Meanwhile, Jason is having an existential crisis.

He’s stomping around the house. Going from the bathroom to his pull out bed to the bathroom again.

Jason walks around barefoot. Constantly.

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