Page 64 of Scoring with my Bestie's Ex

She nods, her expression hovering between sympathetic and ‘I told you so.’

“I think, if you hadn’t made me go, I would have gone back to him,” I admit, ashamed.

Ellen pulls me into a tight hug. “I don’t think so. Not this time. But here’s the thing—we don’t have to worry about what might have happened because it didn’t.”

I hug her back, grateful for her support.

“Besides, you’ve given me a new project now.”

I lean back, frowning at her. “What do you mean?”

Her eyes sparkle. “I told you that Mike and I are going to set you up with Aaron.”

“Ellen!” I groan, stepping away from her. My stomach knots. “I don’t want you to joke about that.”

Ellen’s expression grows serious once more. “Okay. I won’t joke about it. But… well, it’s late, so I should let you sleep. Right?”

I glare at her, though I’m not upset. More resigned. I know this is something that’s been bothering her for some time now.

“Spit it out,” I say.

“You and Aaron. You’re pulling away from him deliberately, aren’t you? Because you’re worried about it being too soon after Steven. And because you’re confused about your feelings and his. You want to be with him, and that scares you.”

I wrap my arms around my waist. “When did you learn how to read my mind?”

“Oh, when we were three,” she quips back.

“That’s a long time.”

Ellen grins. “My point is, I know all the reasons why you’re holding yourself back. And to that, I have to say this: Aaron is not Steven. Aaron won’t take advantage of you, and he’s not the sort of man that will let you take advantage of him.”

“I know Aaron isn’t Steven. That’s the problem!” I throw my hands into the air, feeling dramatic but unable to stop myself. “Because he’s Aaron and I’m still me. I’m still the person who always makes mistakes when it comes to relationships.”

“Steven wasn’t the first guy I picked who turned out to be a total jerk. And Aaron isn’t the first good man I messed things up with,” I babble, trying to get all the words out before I shut down. “He’s a good man, Ellen. And I’m going to hurt him.”

Ellen once more pulls me into a tight hug. “You’ve grown more than you give yourself credit for.”

I bury my face into her shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent. Ellen has been my best friend forever.

“What if I’m just latching onto him because I’m losing you?” I whisper.

“Honey, you’re not losing me. You could never lose me. You’re my best friend and as much of my soulmate as Mike is.” Ellen squeezes me again and steps back. “Things are changing, sure, but I’ll always be here.”

Tears burn my eyes.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Ellen reassures me. “But I do think you’re pulling away too hard out of fear this time.”

“You might be right.”

“I’d say of course I’m right, but I’ll remain humble,” she says, sarcastically.

It’s enough to make me groan. “I can’t wait until I’m back to myself. I should be the one making sarcastic quips, not you.”

Ellen nods in agreement.

“Imogen and I are meeting tomorrow. We’ll be going through everything for the show. Maybe I’ll bring up getting an assistant for me so I have less on my plate,” I muse.

“I also think it would be a good idea to pop into the charity dance, regardless of your doubts about Aaron.”

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