Page 50 of Scoring with my Bestie's Ex

“They’re amazing.”

“But you see, I’m a fraud who doesn’t know chiffon from linen, and I haven’t ever touched a sewing machine before, even though I’ve sewn over a hundred dresses.” gulps some coffee and grimaces. “I’m like the cloth-sellers in the Emperor’s new clothes.”

I have to fight not to laugh at her description. “I see. So the clothes that you’d make will disappear and leave everyone naked.”

“That’s exactly right,” she says, nodding.

“And what about the models in Imogen’s show?”

Bella shrugs. “They’ll be held together by Imogen being the most amazing designer in the entire world.”

“I see.”

She gives me a sheepish grin. “It sounds pretty stupid that way, doesn’t it?”

“No. I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize our own strengths,” I offer. “But you’re going to have to fool yourself into believing in your own worth if you’re going to be a designer in your own right.”

“I knooooow,” she groans, hiding her face in her arms.

I laugh, resisting the urge to run my fingers through her hair.

“I’m prone to doubting myself,” she continues softly. “But… is it okay with you if I talk about Steven for a bit?”

“Yes,” I say, growing serious.

Bella chews her lip. “It’s okay if you don’t. It’s just that Ellen is biased and sometimes it’s hard for me to say what I actually want to say—”

“Bella. When I say something is okay, it’s okay. I’ll let you know if it gets to be too much.”

I give her an encouraging smile.

She lets out a sigh in a rush of air. “He was the opposite of encouraging, if I’m honest. At first, when I showed him my designs, he’d say they were boring or derivative. So I stopped showing him.”

“Why do I feel there’s a butt in here?” I shake my head. “Other than Steven.”

Bella’s brows pinch together. “What about Steven’s butt?”

“No, Steven is a butt. A donkey. A…” I gesture vaguely. “You know. A butt.”

She giggles. “Ah, I see where you’re going. Anyway, he used to steal my sketchbook and give me ‘feedback’ even when I asked him not to. He told me I was wasting my time on my stuff, and I should focus on being the best assistant I could.”

I want to say something, but I keep my mouth shut. I sense Bella just needs to say it aloud, rather than get feedback.

“It’s only now that I’m actually done with him that I’m starting to see just how bad it actually was between us. Not that I’m blameless.” Her gaze darkens.

I reach for her hand hesitantly. “Do you know what negging is?”

“A little, yeah. And I do think Steven did that. I just don’t feel like I can absolve myself. Even if there are reasons for why I did what I did. I feel like I need to forgive myself.”

“I don’t know about the details of your relationship, but I can tell you straight out that the way he treated you isn’t your fault,” I say at once.

She shakes her head. “I don’t know if I’m ready to hear that yet. It’s what Ellen tells me. But I feel like… I feel like maybe if it was someone else, not me, Steven might not have gotten to the point where he is.”

I want to tell her once more it’s not her fault, but I know that feelings aren’t always logical.

“I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to fix my trust,” she confesses. “I’m so used to the person I should trust most being untrustworthy.”

“I’m sorry for what you went through. And I know you need time. But I will always be honest with you, Bella,” I say softly.

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