Page 37 of Scoring with my Bestie's Ex

I think that would break my heart more than anything Steven did.

And worse, what if things go right?

Because I know myself.

If things are good, if I’m happy, I still might leave.

I’m not sure where this fear of commitment comes from.

I’m not sure if that’s why things were so sour with Steven, or if they were sour from the start.

Either way, Aaron is the kind of guy to commit and stay committed.

There’s no second chance.

So if I mess up my first chance?

That’s why I need to make sure I know who I am.

Why I need to make sure I’m ready to commit. And right now, when I’m committing to my career…

“Bella?” Ellen lays a hand on my arm. “You know it’s okay to want it all, right?

I smile vaguely at her. “Of course I do.”

But I don’t believe her or myself. It’s trying to convince a cat to take a bath: messy and improbable

How can I commit to Aaron when I’m trying to build my career and make my dreams come true?

Chapter fourteen

Aaron

I roll my shoulders as I exit the arena. The contrast from the sub-zero temperatures on the rink to the full heat of summer striking.

“Coach ran us hard today, didn’t he?” Mike says, coming up beside me.

“He sure did. You think he’s upset I didn’t tell him about that charity dance until I got the location booked?” I ask with a laugh.

Mike rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t care.”

“True, but he did give us that lecture about keeping our heads in the game.”

“I think that was directed at Jasper. He’s been distracted lately.”

I frown. “Has he? Is there trouble with his wife?”

Mike glances around. “Don’t tell anyone because they haven’t announced it yet, but she’s pregnant.”

“Ahh. So he’s freaking out about being a dad.” I chuckle, but a pang of jealousy hits me.

I know that I’m not in any state to have kids right now.

I have a plan. I’m soon going to retire from this life, and then I’ll have the time and energy to devote to someone else.

But even still, there’s that jealousy.

We reach my car and toss our gear into the trunk. Mike lives near my apartment, so we usually carpool.

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