Page 30 of Scoring with my Bestie's Ex

I’ve freed both of us.

It’s messy and complicated, yes, and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for all the times he hurt me, but it’s over.

We can now both move on with our lives.

I find myself without any hatred toward him. Anger, sure, but no hate. I hope he finds peace and relief in this as well.

There’s so much about myself that I don’t recognize anymore.

Who am I, really? What do I want from life?

I’ve been coasting along for so long, doing what I felt I should be doing rather than figuring out what I want.

It’s the reason I stayed with Steven so long.

Being with him was hard and hurtful at times, but I knew what to expect.

Now that things have really, truly ended… I don’t know what will happen. Where will I go? What will I do?

Every possibility seems open to me, and it’s as terrifying as it is thrilling.

I’m not sure how long I lay there, lost in a million thoughts.

Eventually, I rouse myself. My stomach rumbles, so I go into the kitchen to find a snack. Has Ellen decided to go shopping without me by this time?

Maybe I’ll surprise her by heading downtown.

In the kitchen, I spy Aaron walking toward the cabin alone.

My heart leaps, and I instantly want to rush out. I want to throw my arms around him and dance with happiness.

I want to tell him everything that happened, relive every word I said to Steven.

To celebrate finally being free.

But I don’t.

It’s all so fresh, so new.

I need time to process what happened and what it means. I need to figure out what exactly I want.

The last thing I should do is jump straight into a new relationship, especially when last night I was so determined not to let myself get caught up in these budding feelings.

If I act on things right now, I’ll only hurt him.

So no. I can’t run to his arms.

I need time. Maybe, eventually, something can happen.

But not now.

Chapter twelve

Aaron

The barn dance is something else. I expected to find some slap-dash entertainment thrown together, but when the four of us arrive, it’s wonderful.

The barn is this huge, open building with lights strung everywhere, giving it a bright, cheerful look.

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