Page 44 of Scoring with my Bestie's Ex

Ellen seems satisfied with that. After another exaggerated threat if I cause Bella emotional harm, she ends the call.

Now that she’s brought it out into the open, though…What are my intentions?

I consider the question as I get dressed for the day.

I want to be Bella’s friend… and her lover. Maybe even more than that. We’re at such a strange point in our relationship that it’s difficult to tell what sort of future we might have.

Not that it’s something that can be figured out right now.

While I brush my hair, I study myself in the mirror. Is that the face of someone who is in love?

I search my eyes, trying to peer into my own soul.

“Not yet,” I decide aloud, setting my brush aside. “I’m not in love. I like her, and there are things about her I could easily love.”

But it’s not love. I haven’t allowed it to become that.

Yet.

Keeping myself from falling for her is becoming more difficult every time her name passes my lips.

She’s wonderful.

She’s intelligent. Strong. Witty. And beautiful.

Yeah, if I let my guard down for one moment, I’d be in love with her in a flash.

While I want to take things slow, I also want to rush in.

Funny how both can be true.

It’s a difficult position. With my career, I don’t have the time to dedicate to another person. With her career, neither does she.

We’re not at the right time in our lives.

Done with my daily grooming, I head back to where my papers and budgets lay on the table.

I had planned to invite Bella to my apartment, but now I think it’ll be best if we meet somewhere more neutral.

And public.

“Why is this so difficult?” I groan.

It all seemed so perfectly clear yesterday when we were together. It was easy and comfortable.

We’re not dating.

But we are kissing.

And what does that mean when it comes to other relationships? I haven’t had a committed relationship for a while, but I’ve had casual flings.

Is that what Bella is looking for?

Should I make it clear that I don’t expect her to be exclusive with me, a man she’s not even dating?

I frown as I grab my keys. Regardless of what we are, there is more we need to discuss—namely, boundaries.

Her idea of not dating may indeed be different from mine.

---