Page 130 of The Thought of You

“Spill.” She waves a fork for me to talk, then grabs a silver pie spatula to ease a slice from the whole.

“I’ve been secretly seeing Addie.”

“And?”

“I thought you’d have more of a reaction.”

“It was hardly a secret, son. You two were obviously together. The way you looked at her was like Laurel looking at her medical textbooks. Give me a little more credit.” She tilts her head.

As she sets a plate of pie in front of me, I blow out an exhale as I pick up the fork and toy with the crust of the slice. “The truth is, I never wanted it to be a secret at all, but I agreed because she’s scared of putting our jobs in danger.”

“And you’re not scared?”

“Not enough to stop…” I choke back the word—the four-letter word I haven’t even uttered to Addie herself.

I can’t tell my mother before I tell her.

“Loving her?” Mom finishes, anyway.

Guess she will know before Addie.

I definitely should’ve given Mom more credit. She knows me better than I thought.

And no matter who learns it first, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. I’m in love with Addie. She makes me crazy, and I actually love how strongly I feel things when I’m with her.

She grounds me when I’m lost.

With her, I’m seen.

With her, I’m a much better person, and it’s because of Addie that I’m even here having this pivotal conversation with my mother. Had she not kicked me out of her house, I wouldn’t have ended up in this scenario now, or maybe ever.

I simply nod as my heart jumps into my throat.

“She feels the same way—I know she does,” I insist.

“That much is obvious as well.” Mom takes a bite of her pie and shrugs, as if it’s as strong a fact as the sun being bright.

“I gave her an ultimatum.” I hang my head and nudge my pie away. I don’t fucking deserve it after what I did. What was I even thinking?

“You did what?” She freezes with her fork midair.

“I told her if she wouldn’t disclose our relationship to the school administration and this town, then she and I were done,” I grumble.

From the other side of the counter, she grabs me by the chin, but this time, it’s not so cute and comforting. She jerks it like she’s pissed. “How could you put so much pressure on her like that? Surely there’s a better way to solve this with a compromise—one that’s fair for you both.”

“It’s either we keep hiding or tell Principal Weathers and everyone else. What compromise is there?” I yank my chin from her grasp and stand to pace behind the row of stools. “And if we keep hiding like she wants, for how long? To what end? Won’t we just be making it worse the longer we keep pretending there’s nothing going on between us?”

“Does your need to share this relationship with everyone have anything to do with your concern that if you don’t lock her down now, she’ll leave? That she won’t stick around for longer than just a laugh—isn’t that what you said before?”

My own mother using my words against me should be criminal.

I stop dead in my tracks and place my hands on both hips. Like it or not—and I really don’t fucking like it—she’s right. I’m afraid Addie’s having fun with me now. That she’s letting loose for the first time in her life, and she’s attracted to the wild ride more than she is me.

But the good times won’t last. What happens when the laughter stops?

“Darlin’, that girl is crazy about you. We spent one night with you both, and we all knew it was the real deal. Your sisters haven’t stopped talking about it.”

“You all have been talking about my personal life behind my back?” I level her with a firm glare.