Page 124 of The Thought of You

Her sudden panic makes sense.

She’s worried about our relationship, which is supposed to be a secret, but I’ve opened a can of worms, apparently.

“They’re not going to tell,” I say as I stuff my hands into my pockets, my shoulders heavy.

“Did you ask them not to? Did they reassure you they wouldn’t?” she presses.

“I thought asking them not to would be suspicious, so I didn’t. Besides, you had dinner with Lottie the other night. Her dropping off muffins is hardly a reason to panic.”

“Great,” she clips. “This is just great.”

“What’s going on, Lockhart?” I ask on a sigh. “What’s the big deal?”

She gapes. “The big deal is that our personal life is about to be aired out all over town like a freaking tornado siren.” She snaps and points a finger up, a lightbulb flashing behind her eyes. “Unless we get ahead of it. I’m supposed to have coffee with Sable this weekend. I could call her to meet now, where I play off some story of you and me together as a rumor, and I can nip it right in the bud.”

“Or, you could tell her the truth,” I blurt.

She snaps her horrified gaze up to mine.

And I freeze.

I hadn’t meant to say it, but now that it’s out there, I’m glad I did.

“Are you insane?” she squeaks. “We can’t tell her the truth. Not yet.”

“You like me, and I fucking like you. Why put off the inevitable?”

“We’re not there yet.”

“What will it take for us to get there, Addie?” I urge. “Because I’m fucking there.”

“What are you saying?”

“I more than like you,” I say on an exhale. “I never stop thinking about you. I never stop wanting to make you happy. You’re my favorite, and I don’t just mean my favorite woman, teacher, or even dancer. You’re my favorite… everything.”

Her eyes well with tears as a deep blush floods her cheeks.

“I don’t want to keep you a secret anymore. I want to hold your hand while we walk around the square downtown. I want to dance with you at karaoke night at the Tap. I want to tell the world about us because you’re the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re too amazing to keep a secret, and I never should’ve agreed to do so to begin with.”

A tear slips down her cheek, and her lips part.

I brace myself against the back of her couch, my heart lurching over and over again like runners clearing hurdles on a track.

Addie worries her lip between her teeth, and her silence is complete torture. Then she shakes her head, and my stomach sinks. “I can’t. Not yet. It’s not the right time.”

“The job will be the job, no matter the time.”

She scoffs. “I don’t expect you to understand. You don’t care about things the way I do. You just cruise through life with a joke and a grin, and everything works out for you. But that’s not the reality for the rest of us. We have odds stacked against our character.”

“What does that mean?”

Her face twists. “My mother’s made quite the name for herself around here. She’s unreliable, flighty, and loose, to name a few poor qualities of hers. Sleeping with a co-worker is something she’d do—and has done plenty of times. When she’s held a job for more than a week, that is.” She shakes her head, and her voice is unsteady when she poses, “Do you know how hard it’s been to detach myself from her? To prove I’m nothing like her, not only to myself but to this town? This is complicated, okay?”

I blow out a frustrated breath, attempting to absorb what’s really been going on here. It’s not just about the job, the school, or the future.

It’s her mother—the one who’s been holding Addie back for years.

From where I stand, she’s let her mother control her and her actions for so long. I just never thought I’d be caught in the crosshairs.

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