Page 97 of The Charm of You

Nestled next to her, I give her hand an encouraging squeeze.

“I love this town.” She sighs. “It’s my home, and these people are my family. They’ve been here for me my entire life, and I owe them an incredible debt, not that they’re the kinds of friends to collect.”

A small smile touches my lips at the beautiful sentiment.

“When your father and I married, I was happy. I never wanted to leave this town, especially when you came along, and the three of us became a family.” She reaches for a tissue and dabs at the corners of her eyes, then clutches it against her chest. “As you got older, my old dreams resurfaced.”

“What do you mean?” Dreams? She’d never mentioned any of her own dreams. It was always about what she wanted for me.

“You were becoming a gorgeous young woman, sweetheart, and I was so proud of you. I was downright tickled to be your mother and watch you soar. You’ve always been talented and kind and strong-willed. You reminded me so much of myself in my teen years.”

I nod, hitched onto every word like a trailer on the back of a truck.

“Your daddy and I wanted you to have it all.” Her eyes gloss over as if she’s transported, and chills race down my arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake. She’s never talked so candidly with me like this before. “We wanted you to go out and see the world. Mostly—and shamefully—I wanted you to see it… for me.”

“Oh, Mama.” I take her hand back into mine as bits and pieces of my life click into place.

“After your father died, I put on a mask.” She draws her bottom lip in and out of her teeth. “I pretended to be okay so that you would go and live your life. It broke my heart to think you’d give up everything. After such a tragedy, I wouldn’t blame you, but I didn’t want to be the one to stand in your way. I didn’t want to give you a reason to stay here.”

She gave me a reason to leave, though.

“I can’t tell you how many times I privately fell apart,” she confesses through a heavy exhale. “Your father’s passing destroyed me in many ways, but with the help of this town, I got back on my feet. Suzanne, in particular, has been a godsend. I’ve leaned on her so much for so long. We’ve been here for each other.”

“I’m glad you had her, Mama, but I wish you would’ve come to me. I wish I could’ve been the one you leaned on.”

“I was too afraid to be honest with you because I didn’t want you to come racing home. It seemed like you were really thriving in a new place. You were doing so well in your college courses, and then you accepted such a marvelous job at Five Star. I couldn’t tell you the truth, and I got so good at pretending with you that it became natural.” She cups my cheek with a trembling hand. “I’m sorry, Caroline. I can’t bear knowing you’ve been carrying all this weight around for so many years.”

I ease into her hand, comforted by her and momentarily shocked yet again over how wildly unexpected this visit has been.

First Austin, and now my mother.

The more Mama and I talk, the more I understand, and the empty gaps of my past are finally filled.

Peace slowly settles into the parts of my soul that previously held resentment, disappointment, and sadness, especially when we shift over to my admission of being fired.

“I thought you had established such an impressive track record at the agency. What happened that they’d go so far as to fire you?” she asks, but it’s not accusatory. She’s not placing blame on me, and it’s reassuring.

She’s always been on my side, and that hasn’t changed.

“I feel like we should’ve opened a bottle of wine for this.” I scoot to the edge of the couch and hook a thumb toward the kitchen. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way.”

I pour us each a glass of the Merlot that Austin brought over last night, and I tell her all about Melissa’s excuses. How I don’t buy any of them, especially since I’ve received even more voice mails from clients who are upset over my sudden departure.

In the name of honesty and transparency, I don’t hold back how disappointed I am. I don’t sugarcoat it and fake enthusiasm over what awaits on the horizon, as I might have done in the past, and she listens, encourages, and loves me as I am.

By the end of the night, I realize coming home was exactly what I needed, but I never could’ve predicted just how right I was. I didn’t know I’d find more than I was looking for.

So much more.

chapter

thirty-one

AUSTIN

A tuba from the marching band wails above the chatter of the gathering crowd.

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