Page 99 of Protecting Hailey

What if I could focus only on the music?

I inhaled deeply.

“I’m not sure I’m going to need those outfits,” I said.

My mother scrolled through Kendra’s social media, looking at her wardrobe. “You have a different style, I know. But I’m sure the stylist will accommodate for that.”

“No. I’m not sure I’m going to tour.”

My mother put down her phone. “What are you talking about? We already told Frankie we would do it. He’s booked some dates across America this summer. Don’t be ridiculous.”

I fisted my hands. “I’m not being ridiculous. I’m thinking about my future. I don’t like performing, and touring around the world isn’t for me. I met with Kendra’s producer and he said he could get me work as a writer for other artists.”

She leaned back and crossed her arms. “You want to watch other people become famous with your songs? You want to be behind the scenes while someone else takes the spotlight?”

I shrugged. “Yes. That sounds kind of nice.”

She shook her head. “You’ve lost your mind. Maybe you’re right. You’re tired and not thinking straight.” She gathered her things. “I’ll come back tomorrow after you’ve rested.”

I placed a hand on her arm. “I’m thinking quite clearly. This makes sense. I still get to do what I love without having to do the things I don’t love. If Christian can pivot, then so can I. I shouldn’t be afraid of change.”

My mother shook her head and smiled. “I should have known this was about him. Look, I know he’s taken up a lot of your world right now, but this isn’t a decision you make after having a weekend with someone. Your head’s in the clouds, Hailey. I’m not going to let you do this.”

“It’s not your decision. It’s mine.”

Her face hardened, and she placed both hands on her hips. “You would be that selfish? You would forget about your responsibilities to your father and me? To your aunt, uncle, and cousin? You would do that for some guy who can, as you say, afford to take care of himself?”

“I’m not doing it for him, Mom. I’m doing it for me. And I have not forgotten my responsibilities. I will still take care of all of you.”

“Not in the same fashion as you could if you were touring the world. Do you think someone would buy a fragrance with the name of the person with the writing credit or the one working her ass off on stage? Don’t ruin everything we’ve worked hard for because you’re tired.”

“Now who’s the one being selfish? My whole life, I’ve made decisions based on other people’s advice and needs. I’m going to finally take what I want into consideration.”

She was shaking her head, not believing me. Frustrated, I added, “If you ever paid close attention, you would have noticed how much I hate the spotlight or that I would rather not have a perfume with my name on it. I love music and I would never give that up. With this opportunity, I could focus on it more, instead of having to do the other stuff I don’t like.”

My mother’s lip trembled. I’d never seen my mother cry. She was the strongest person I knew. I pulled her into my arms. For a second, I thought about giving in, but I closed my eyes and bit my tongue.

I’d meant what I said. I was finally doing something for myself and I wouldn’t go back on it. “It’s not going to be so bad, Mom. We’ll be fine. I promise.”

She nodded and sniffed. “I know. I know.” She wiped her cheek. “I guess, I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I guess it’s more than just the tour. Being a writer means you won’t need me anymore. You won’t need someone to organize and book things for you.”

“Right. I won’t need a personal assistant.” I pulled back and held her face in my hands. “But I’ll always need my mother.”

I kissed her forehead, and another tear fell down her cheeks. “I’m a watery mess. Just look at me.”

“You’re beautiful, Mom. And I love you.”

Her bottom lip quivered again, and she pulled me into her arms where I nuzzled her neck. “I love you so much, Hailey. I guess I was just worried that you wouldn’t need me anymore. My whole life I’ve dedicated to you and your dreams. I don’t know how else to live.”

“That’s sad,” I said. My words were muffled in our embrace. “It’s time you start living for yourself.”

She nodded. “Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll take your father on the Mediterranean cruise he’s been wanting to go on.”

I chuckled. “You get seasick on the ferry, Mom.”

“Right. Don’t tell him that, though. I’ll figure something out.”

Christian walked in just as we were both laughing and wiping the tears from our eyes. His eyes grew bigger as he took in the tableau before him. He looked less scared when he kicked open that restaurant door to save me.

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