Page 97 of Protecting Christina

Christina wrapped herself around me and rubbed my arms. Her touch penetrated through the numbness, at least enough for me to catch my breath.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I just wish I had done something to have stopped it. So, now I do whatever I can to prevent anything like that from happening to another woman. If Gabby needs me, I’m there. If I can stop it, I will. If I can get a woman to safety, I will do whatever needs to be done.”

I rubbed her back. “I know a big part of it stems from guilt and wanting to make up for what I let happen to my mother. But, lately, I’ve realized that those experiences have helped prepare me for something else.”

I hesitated. I didn’t know how she would take this, but it was the truth.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“They prepared me for you.”

She sat up. “But I wasn’t abused.”

“No. But all these women, and all these difficult circumstances, taught me to be patient. They shaped me and prepared me for you.”

Her eyes rounded, and then she looked down.

I’d said too much. Damn it. But it was the truth. I’d thought about it the other day when I’d gotten frustrated with Tina and realized that learning to be patient made me a better man for Christina.

She shook her head. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Take a bad situation and make it good.”

“I haven’t always seen it that way. Not until you came into my life.”

She laughed but there was no humor behind it. “You are a better person for your experiences. But me? I became angry and bitter.”

“Your parents were murdered. Your sister and brother abandoned you. It’s hard to see the good in that. And you are not bitter, Christina. Jake told me what you said to him about not messing with Nikole. You warned him not to hurt her. You are loyal and protective of the people you love.”

She inhaled deeply and placed her hand on my cheek. “I think you were made for me. You didn’t have to go through all of that. I think you were born this way. Thoughtful, caring, patient, compassionate,” she traced my cheekbone and lips as she spoke.

I grabbed her hand and brought it down to my chest. My heart pounded against her palm and I knew she held it even though there was bone and flesh between us. She owned me and I would do anything for this woman.

Slowly, she shook her head. “You know, I’ve been called strong and resilient before. And I used to think it was a compliment that I needed to be those things to be appreciated. But I get tired, too. I get emotional, even though I don’t show it like everyone else. But I’m exhausted. I want my life to be easy and uncomplicated.”

A tear fell down her cheek and she swiped it away.

I held her face between my hands. “I don’t want to scare you, but I’ve never felt like this before. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or us. I’m here, baby. Through thick and thin, I will be right here for you. I lo—”

She placed her finger on my lips and smiled. “Not yet. I’m not ready yet. But soon. So damn soon, it scares me.”

She slid her body against mine and snuggled into my chest again. I knew I’d never be able to wake up without her beside me. Not when I knew I could have her in my arms.

I closed my eyes and squeezed her tightly.

She may not be ready to hear those words yet, but I could wait. If it meant being with her, I could wait forever.

***

Christina was dipping a strawberry under the chocolate fondue when her cell phone beeped. “Could you check that?” she called as she slipped her tongue beneath the dripping fountain.

I laughed. “You know, I have better uses for that tongue.” I waggled my eyebrows when she looked up. She couldn’t stop laughing and ended up getting her nose caught beneath the chocolate waterfall. “Oof,” she said and grabbed a paper towel by the stove to clean herself up.

“Never mind,” she drawled. “I’ll get it.”

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