Page 74 of Protecting Christina

I tucked one foot inside my high heel and then the other. “I never agreed to this deal.”

Then I turned to him. “You promised you wouldn’t ask me for anything I couldn’t give,” I said, swallowing a lump that had formed in my throat. “I can’t give you this.”

He stared at me, his brow furrowed, but he didn’t move. I was thankful because I wasn’t sure what I would say if he pressed me further. I might have said something I would regret later.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said. “I don’t want this to end, but I’m not ready for it to go where you want it to, either.” I exhaled a shaky breath. “Do you understand?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving mine.

I swallowed. “Thank you.”

I turned to leave, but his voice stopped me. “Good night, Christina.”

“Good night, Will.”

Pulling out my phone, I called for a car. I heard Will get up behind me, but I didn’t turn back again. I felt his stare as I walked down the hallway to the elevator and avoided his eyes when the elevator doors closed.

I clenched my fists at my sides, angry with myself but unable to turn back.

I couldn’t do it.

I just couldn’t.

Something held me back.

My heart raced the entire ride home. When I finally walked inside, I undressed and slipped into bed.

It felt cold and empty.

18

Christina

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. Rubbing my temples, I climbed out of bed and stumbled into my washroom. Without turning on the light, I found a bottle of pain meds inside my medicine cabinet. I tossed two into my mouth, snapped my head back, and swallowed them.

“Ow,” I said, rubbing my forehead when the pain intensified.

My body ached and my head throbbed.

I felt like shit.

When I came home last night, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Even when I’d awoken in the middle of the night, I’d discovered my pillow drenched.

I didn’t understand my misery. I’d made the right decision. I kept telling myself that. If I’d stayed, it would have complicated things. And enough was going on in my life right now. I didn’t need the extra pressure. I needed to take this relationship slowly. I hadn’t agreed to stay the night and I shouldn’t feel guilty for walking away.

And yet… my chest tightened and every muscle in my body groaned.

I fell back onto my bed and tried to sleep. Except all I could think about were Will’s hands on my body and his breath on my skin.

My hand clutched the sapphire pendant at my neck and I sniffed.

Closing my eyes, I drifted back to sleep.

Hours later, I blinked at the sun streaming through my blinds. Squinting, I got up and checked the time. It was nearly noon on Saturday.

I texted my sister Donna. “How are you feeling?”

She replied right away. “Like shit. You?”

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