Page 51 of Krash & Bern

I looked up to see Bernice with teary eyes. “You don’t have to tell me anything right now, Bern.”

She shook her head. “I was going to tell you everything tonight at dinner.” She spoke softly as not to aggravate her sore throat. The bruises on her neck were hard to miss, which only fueled my anger. I should have killed him when I had the chance.

“You knew him?” I asked.

She nodded slightly. “He’s my ex…”

My heart fell to my ass at the reveal. My Bern had given part of herself to that abusive asshole.

“I met him while I was in Massachusetts. He was sweet and kind in the beginning. He made sure I was straight and never alone. I wanted to see the best in everyone, but when I finally gave him the chance to be my man… he did a one-eighty into the wrong direction. He became possessive, insecure, jealous, and abusive. It started verbally and then continued to get worse. It started with a few fat comments here and there. Then, it became physical. I should have left him, I know… I should have been strong enough to stand up for myself, but I endured the abuse because he made me feel like I had no one.”

Tears poured from her face as she rocked from side to side. Her gaze was far away as she stirred her tea. My fingers were balled tightly into fists that hurt the palms of my hands. My knuckles were damn near white from the strength of my grip. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do.

Guilt washed over me. It felt like I was to blame. My heart ached.

“Bern…”

“Don’t blame yourself, Key. It’s not your fault.”

“It is. If I would have been there…”

Guilt washed over me. My insecurities and demons ruined my relationship with Bernie. The result of our breakup put her on that nigga’s radar.

“Keyshawn, look at me.”

My eyes shifted up to her. “It was my choice to believe the facade he put on. It was my choice to make excuses until it got too bad. You were my first love, and I wanted to find that love in someone else, so I ignored red flags and gave him power over me.”

“I’m so sorry, Bernie.”

She shook her head. “There is no need for you to apologize to me. Rodney took a lot of me, but you restored parts of me I’d thought I’d lost forever.”

I set my bowl on the table and pulled her onto my lap. I caressed her bruised skin and pressed our foreheads together. We sat like this for a long time. Neither of us said a word as we allowed our bodies to convey what our words couldn’t.

She shifted and cleared her throat. “How’d you like your dinner? I’m sorry things got ruined. Literally, I wanted to cook, drink, and let you in on what I’d endured while I was out of state. Things didn’t go as planned.”

“We gon’ keep this out the media for sure. We can’t have BerJam, Security catching flack.”

She frowned. “Dude… I thought it was you, so I unlocked the door and pulled the food out of the oven. I expected to be greeted by my man, and instead, one of the devil’s demons were in my front room.”

“Look, we won’t let this shit happen again.”

“How do you plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again?” she asked.

“This the only abusive ex, right?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yes.”

“All right. Blake and Nehemiah took the nigga to the emergency room. I’m sure once they’re done talking to him, he’ll never lift a hand to any woman again.”

Abusive men were the scum of the Earth. The craziest part was most abusive men would never step to a man the way they would a woman. I didn’t play that abuse shit, so if I ever crossed paths with the nigga again, I wouldn’t hesitate to donate to the GoFundMe his mother would have to create to pay for his funeral costs.

“It’s been a long day. I really just want to go to sleep.”

“Come on. I did a small tour while I cleaned up the kitchen. We can strip and go to bed.”

“I don’t have a huge mansion like you, but I’ll give you a better tour in the morning. Please take me to bed and hold me close.”

“I got you, baby.”

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