Page 21 of Krash & Bern

I had to do something to change her mind or make her wait for me until she came home.Bernice was my soulmate. Our story couldn’t conclude because we were too passionate about our future careers. Our story couldn’t end because neither one of us wanted to compromise. We’d find a way to save our relationship… right?

Spring transitioned to summer in the blink of an eye. Over the last four months, I’d found an apartment, met with my new advisors over a video conference, and packed all my bags. My parents and I debated on the best way to get my things to the new city, but we ultimately decided to put all my things in storage and only pack the necessities in three suitcases.

Daddy said he’d have his interior designer hook me up before I arrived on August 1st. I sent her a Pinterest board of how I’d like my apartment to look, and she promised to deliver as best as she could. Thankfully, I’d finished my semester with a 3.9 GPA. Despite the stress Krash put in my life, I was able to pass my finals and finish my classes with great scores.

For the last two days, I’d been living out of a suitcase in my parents’ home. In less than forty-eight hours, I’d be settling into my new normal, away from my family and friends. It would be a huge adjustment, but I was ready to turn the page on a new chapter in my life.

“Bernice, come show your aunties some love, girl!” Mama instructed as she motioned me over.

Janice James was my twin. I was a carbon copy of her with younger features. She was the complexion of a deep amber gemstone. Her eyes were a deep chocolate brown. She was on the thicker side of the scale, and I was slightly slimmer. She loved to rock her short curls, while I opted for my wigs and braids. My go-to was the skunk strip color with whatever style I had in at the time. My current obsession was black hair with a pink skunk strip. I loved the way the pink sculpted my face.

“Hey, Aunt Clarice!” I greeted my father’s sister.

“We’re super proud of you, honey! You’re going to go out into the world and do amazing things. We pray for your safety, your success, and your prosperity.” Aunt Clarice pulled me into a tight hug as she rocked me side to side.

My family was a praying family. Since I was a kid, it always felt like the elders had a direct line to God. When they prayed over someone, they were always blessed tenfold. With her prayer, I felt like no weapon formed against me would prosper.

“We’re so proud of you, cousin!” Quincy stated as he pulled me into a hug next.

My flight would leave Monday morning, so my family decided to throw a celebration party in my honor. Folks I hadn’t spoken to my whole life pulled up to see me. Cousins, aunts, uncles, family friends, and more came from all over the state to eat good food, vibe with the family, and offer me encouraging words to get through my time out of state.

My dad and uncles were on the grill. We had ribs, chicken, boudin, hot links, and pork chops. The sides were baked beans, potato salad, grilled corn, and Hawaiian rolls. Finger foods included deviled eggs, chips and buffalo chicken dip, stuffed jalapenos, and fruit and vegetable trays. My cousin Denise was on aux playing a mixture of old and new music. It was always a fun time when my family got together.

The backyard was packed, and laughs were loud. A twinge of guilt filled my core because Krash was not present. I’d been doing my best to distance myself from him. I’d made the executive decision to move out a few weeks after our last argument. He hated the decision, but I had to do what was best for my peace of mind.

“Why do you look so glum, Bernie?” Mama asked as she rubbed my shoulders and claimed the seat across from me.

My eyes looked down at the plate of finger food, with my appetite quickly running away. “I looked around and realized Keyshawn wasn’t here.”

She poked out her bottom lip. “I’m sure he’s just running late.”

I shook my head to disagree. “No. I didn’t invite him… It didn’t feel right to invite him to a party celebrating the one decision in my life he didn’t support.”

“Well, it didn’t seem to work for you, since you’re sitting here, wallowing in your sadness. Kids these days are so dramatic. Back in my day, we would have made it work, and we didn’t even have advanced technology like y’all have these days.”

“What technology do we have, Mama?” I asked with a roll to my eyes.

“You’ve got everything to keep communication strong. We didn’t have FaceTime, voice messaging, or anything like that. With a click of a button, you could see your loved one’s face in an instant. We would have had to write letters that took weeks to arrive. We’d have to buy a camera to show them our updated looks. Everything is at your fingertips, and y’all are too scared to catch flights.”

“I’m not afraid to do any of that, Ma. I was prepared to do the long-distance thing, but Krash isn’t. We know his history with his parents, so I get it. He feels like I’m leaving him for good, and that was never the case. However, I know what trauma and insecurities do to the mind. He’d think I was out there doing everything under the sun with another man, and that’s not something I want to deal with. If he can’t trust me to love him while I’m out of state, then he made his choice.”

“I had such high hopes for the two of you. He’d always protected you in high school and kept the creeps away from you in college. I pray y’all find your way back to each other when you return home.”

“If it’s written in the stars, I wouldn’t mind spinning the block in a few years when I’ve established my career.”

She smiled. “God’s plan is the ultimate plan.”

“Amen!”

The conversation with my mother put a lot of things into perspective. It was nice to talk to someone who knew us both and could offer advice that wasn’t riddled with bias. She loved Krash like a son. She’d been the maternal presence in his life he hadn’t had before. Dad was also a father figure in Krash’s life. I hope they still extended the love his way when I was no longer around. He didn’t need to lose the only family he loved because of a breakup.

The sun had begun to set, and family had begun to trickle out, two by two, or even three by three. I thanked them all for their gifts, cards, and money. As I helped my aunt put my baby cousin in her car seat, a car pulled up behind us.

I gave the baby a couple tickles on her belly before I stood up straight and waved them off. As I stepped toward the house, Krash’s tall, slim frame came into view. My heart fluttered with excitement while my throat went dry, and my palms became coated in a thin layer of sweat.

“Hey,” I greeted him in a timid tone.

“What’s up, Bern?”

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