Page 16 of Krash & Bern

“Thank you for joining me today, Miss James.” My counselor, Grace Higgins, greeted me as I walked into her office. The office was small and smelled of a vanilla and lavender wax melt. She had pictures of her and her family all over the walls with her decorative animals and a stress pan of sand. I found comfort coming to her since my freshman year. She’d made me feel safe in a new environment with people older than me.

“Hey, Grace!” I greeted in a happy tone. I claimed the seat on the other side of the desk and placed my backpack on the floor.

“How are you, boo?” she asked in her thick southern drawl.

“Girl, I’m stressed. I have so much on my plate. I just need you to make sure I’m on the right track.”

“I know you wanted to talk about your major requirements for graduation next year, but was there anything else on your mind?” she asked.

I chewed on my bottom lip before I retrieved a letter out of my backpack and held it out for her. She read the header and first sentence and gasped. “Bernice! This is amazing!”

I chewed on my bottom lip. “I didn’t want to tell anyone until after I heard from them, but I applied to the top technology school in the world, and they accepted me. I am set to attend in the fall, so this will be my last semester here. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but I know I need this to go where I want to in my career.”

Grace’s smile was brighter than the sun as she swelled with excitement and pride in my new achievement. “Listen, you’re going to do great. You did it smart too. It waswaycheaper to do your basics here than to do the whole four years at the other university.”

It had always been my dream to attend the number one ranked technology school in the United States. Originally, I wanted to see what could happen. A part of me had doubted I could get accepted, but when the letter came, I felt unstoppable.

“If we’re being honest, I didn’t think I’d get accepted,” I admitted.

“Why? You’ve knocked down barriers since you were twelve. You’re smart, goal-oriented, and excel in everything you do. They’d be dumb not to make room for all of your greatness, boo!”

Her words made my heart flutter with pride.

“Thank you,” I said as I turned away with heated cheeks.

“Do you know what this means for the rest of your time here?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No. What does it mean?”

For the next hour and a half, we talked about the transfer process, what I needed to prepare for, housing in a new city and state, and making sure all my credits transferred. My to-do list had risen astronomically, and my nerves grew. I only had a little under two months left of the semester before the spring semester concluded. Then, I’d only have June and July to prepare for fall classes that started in August. The acceptance letter opened a new door but added so much more work for me to do. I was excited and exhausted just thinking about how hectic my life would be moving forward.

The entire ride home, I was bouncing in my seat to finally let Krash in on what I’d been so busy with the last few weeks. I’d been keeping busy, to fight the anxiety I felt of waiting to hear back from them. Now that I had, I could breathe without thinking about the application. I was ready to let him in.

As I pushed open the door to the apartment, I was greeted by Krash lounging on the couch, drinking a bottle of water.

“Hey, baby!” I sang to him.

“Hey,” he replied. His tone had been dry and uninterested the last couple of days, but I didn’t complain because I was the cause of his attitude.

I sauntered over to him and sat in his lap. I tossed his bottle of water onto the couch beside him and placed his hands on my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pecked his lips several times. He protested with an annoyed sigh, but I didn’t stop until I felt him relax against me.

“I’m sorry for being so distant lately. I had a lot of anxiety in my life and needed to stay busy. I’m sorry for not letting you know what was going on, but I didn’t want to say anything until I got answers.”

Krash’s expression hardened as he fought to hide his emotions. I hated when he closed me out of how he was feeling.

“What did you have going on that made you renege on everything we discussed when we moved in?” he asked.

“I applied for fall classes at the top technology school in the country,” I announced with cheer in my tone.

His eyes widened, but his facial expression did not mimic my excitement. Instead, he looked even more mad than he was when I first entered the room.

“What?” he asked.

“It was always a plan of mine. I didn’t want to go all four years because it was cheaper to come here and get all my basics out of the way. I talked to Grace, and we have a solid plan to help me transition once the semester is over.”

Krash shook his head and moved me off his lap. Despite the rejection I felt, I allowed him to switch positions. My hands clasped together in my lap as I watched him stand up and pace around the living room. We were silent for a long moment before he finally spoke again.

“This is exactly what I feared.” He chuckled, but the tone in his voice was anything but amusement.

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