Page 50 of Embrace

REGRETS

Tears threatened to fall as I curled up into a ball and lay on the bed. My eyes were shut as I pressed my hand against my stomach. I’d hardly slept the last three days, worried about Blaze. Now that he was back home, part of me felt relief, but a stronger part of me felt scared.

Scared of the future.

Scare of the what ifs.

Scare of what could happen the next time.

Scared of him.

No wife should ever be afraid of their husband. No wife should ever be afraid of what her husband was capable of doing. How do I voice my concerns? How do I tell him seeing him beat Malik’s ass made me fear the unknown of our future together.

Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I whimpered lowly. I saw a side of Blaze that made me uncomfortable. Did I regret blindly marrying him? Did I regret giving him so much of me when he couldn’t control his temper?

“Blaze! Blaze, stop! Blaze, he’s not even fighting back! Stop! Please!”

My shouts from the other night haunted me. I’d begged and pleaded my man to calm down, but instead… it took three officers to get him off of Malik.

“Su?”

Blaze’s voice startled me.

“Hmm?”

The smell of ramen filled my nose. I sat up and wiped my face.

“You got ramen?” I asked. I regretted it immediately as the croak in my voice revealed the emotional turmoil I’d been in moments prior.

“You’ve been crying. What’s going on, baby?” Blaze asked. Concern tugged at his facial features. He walked closer to me and placed the food tray on the side of the bed.

“Nothing…” I trailed off.

“We’re lying to each other now?” Blaze asked as he pulled out the two bowls of Ramen.

My favorite. Spicy Miso ramen with an extra egg and extra fish cakes came into view. The seaweed strip was removed and placed into Blaze’s bowl. He opened the chopsticks and soup spoon and held the tray out for me to take.

“Thank you,” I said as I crossed my legs and dug into the bowl of ramen.

“I asked you a question, Su.” He claimed his seat on the bed beside me.

“I’m not lying.”

“You are. Why were you crying?”

“I have a lot on my mind. Not to mention, my period started today. I’m emotional, confused, and tired.”

Blaze’s expression softened. “I’m sorry. Let’s enjoy dinner. We can watch one of your shows and then take a shower together. I’ll get your heating pad out of the closet and rub your back.”

His offer punched me in my feelings. My soul cried. I’d been thinking about running away from our union… while he was doing everything in his power to make me stay. He loved me. I loved him.

“I’d… I’d like that a lot.” I sniffled as I wiped my nose on the back of my hand.

“Don’t cry. Enjoy your favorite food with your favorite show. I got you. I always got you.”

“Y-you do.” I whimpered. I shook the tears away before I scooped up a generous serving of noodles with my chopsticks and stuffed my mouth.

Dinner was delicious. The show I chose did a great job of distracting me. I laughed several times while we ate in a comfortable silence. After Blaze ate, he took a shower and gave me some time to myself. When he got out, he wrapped a towel around his waist and left the water running.

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