Page 68 of Tempting

Love them enough for me and you.

Love them enough that me not being there doesn’t destroy my beautiful babies.

Promise me you’ll never let them forget how much I love them.

And try not to screw them up too much, okay?

I love you . . . Always.

Liz

I finish reading it, then read it two more times before I look back at Juliette.

Tears are streaming down both our faces.

She wipes mine first, then takes my hand in hers. “I’ve never shared that letter with another living soul. Not even Becket has read it.”

“Really?” I ask as my chest shakes with the force it takes to hold back my sobs.

“But you and Becks don’t hide things from each other.” Even as kids, if one of them knew something, that meant they both knew. There was no hiding in our house growing up. It’s just the kind of kick-ass relationship they have.

“One day... Not today, but one day, I’m going to tell you how your mother managed to give me Becket Kingston after she died when she gave me you and your brother. And how, in a way, that means I have her to thank for Blaise too. Losing your mom was the worst thing that ever happened to me.” She lifts my chin to see my eyes. “I need you to understand what I’m about to say.”

I nod silently.

“Out of that pain came the best things that ever happened to me too. I hope I loved you enough for her and me, sweetheart. I hope I loved you enough that her death didn’t break you.”

She throws her arms around me and squeezes as she cries, and I end up rubbing her back. “It’s okay, Jules. You and Becks were everything I could have ever asked for. And her death didn’t destroy me, but I can’t lie and say it didn’t fuck me up. I don’t know how to stop worrying that the other shoe is going to drop. That the more I love, the more I have that I can lose.”

It’s the first time I’ve ever put a voice to my fears, and my God, it hurts.

“Oh, honey. Is this about you and Nixon?”

“You knew?” I ask, half laughing, half sobbing. “How?”

“The day Brynnie gave birth to Knight.” She smiles and takes my hand in hers. “Becket talked to Nixon.”

“Oh no...” My mind starts spinning. “Was it bad?”

“No, Kenz. It was good. That boy has grown into quite the impressive man, and Becket isn’t easily impressed. We’ve been trying to give you space, but now, I’m wondering if that was the wrong move.”

I lace my fingers with hers and shake my head. “No, it was the best thing you could have possibly done. I needed that. I... I’m struggling, Jules. I don’t know how to have it all, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted it all. But then I found Nixon. Not found him, found him. He wasn’t lost. But he’s not the guy I remember from high school... He’s so much more.” I look off into the woods behind the cemetery and try to gather my thoughts so I can put them into words. “He’s everything, Jules. Everything. Which means if he’s taken away, I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t think I could go through that kind of devastation twice.”

“Oh, Mackenzie. You can’t live your life in fear. That’s not living. Don’t let your mother’s death do that to you. She’d never want that for you. If you want to worry about balancing a life and a career, talk to me. Talk to your aunts. They’re some of the strongest women I’ve ever known. Hell, talk to Nixon’s mom. She lost her parents, had to raise her brother, and was nearly killed while she was pregnant with the twins. And I swear that woman is one of the few women I’ve ever met who rivals your aunt Scarlet’s strength. Balancing it all isn’t easy. But nothing worth having ever is.”

“I feel like I’ve heard that before,” I tell her softly as I try to gather my spiraling thoughts.

“Is he good to you? Because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. If a man loves you and is good to you, and you can be happy together... Listen to that again. You can be happy together, because no man or woman can make you happy. It’s not their job. You have to be happy with yourself to be happy with them. Like I said, if you can be happy together, you can work out the rest. The schedules. The families. The babies. The rest falls into place if you’re willing to work for it. And you, my darling girl, have never been scared of a little hard work.”

She stands and pulls me to my feet, then wraps an arm around my shoulders and angles us toward the sun. “I’d dare say you thrive on hard work. And if ever there was a thing worth working hard for, it’s love. And if Nixon is that person for you, I want you to remember something...”

She trails off as I hang on every word.

“The same way your mother gave me my life—my husband and my three kids because I like to think I have shared custody with Liz. That same way, she gave you Nixon. You may never have met him if you didn’t come to Kroydon Hills.”

I close my eyes and tilt my face toward the sun and try to wrap my head around everything Juliette just said.

If you can hear this, Mom.

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