Page 77 of The Irish Arrangement

“Killing you would be too easy. I will see to it that you suffer every minute of poverty and hardship to pay back all of your debts with revised interest.” I released Shane but gripped Keira’s neck tighter. “And neither of you will ever interfere in my life, in my wife’s life. Ever. Again.”

She coughed, wheezing for air as I released her.

“Have I made myself perfectly fucking clear?” I asked as I straightened my cuffs and stepped back.

“Yes. Yes, Mr. Sullivan,” Shane replied shakily.

I cast one more glowering look at Keira, then narrowed my eyes at a frightened and angry Saoirse hiding in the back of the room too.

After I left, I exhaled all my pent-up fury in the car.

I doubted my rage with the Murrays would ever dissipate. I hated how they’d let her down.

And I dreaded the thought that she might assume I was letting her down as well.

I wasn’t. I had to make things right first, that was all.

Ian was checking with her medical records to see just how low her chances of pregnancy were.

If she only had half of a chance of conceiving, we would just have to try twice as hard and prepare for double the patience.

As I drove away from her worthless father’s mansion that he’d need to sell soon to repay me, I knew without a doubt that Cara would be the mother of my children. She was the only woman I wanted to be my spouse. No one else.

Before I could return to the estate home and teach her that lesson, I had another stop to make.

Ian could handle the majority of the bills, the payments, and all that administrative crap.

It was past time that I checked in on my mother-in-law and took over the situation where she was suffering.

Because I love you, Cara, I will move heaven and earth for you.

I loved her.

Which made it hurt all the more when I had to recall that she so clearly didn’t feel the same about me.

If she could still be so hesitant and hold out for so long to not tell me about her troubles, not to ask me for help or be honest with me, she couldn’t feel this deep, burrowing love that I did.

And I was sobered by how badly I wanted her love in return.

28

CARA

Declan wasn’t back.

Every time I looked at the doors, I wondered if this would be the moment when he’d surprise me and return. Letting my hopes get up, I clung to the wish that I would have a chance to explain and apologize again.

Missing him was a full-body effort. I felt deprived of energy, all my willpower centralized on yearning for him to just come back.

Guilt ate at me, and I hated that I’d ever tried to hide my issues and worries from him for so long.

My phone died, and when Riley gave me a charger cord, I learned that it was just dead. It was an older model, all I could afford, and with it punking out on me and preventing me from checking in with Oscar or my mom, or to keep up with my attempts to figure out what was going on at the hospital, I was stuck and helpless.

I’d never felt so out of control like this, and it was nothing similar to the freeing liberation that Declan gave me when he pushed me to my limits sexually, with his strong body so good when it fit in and against mine.

I went to bed, frustrated and so sad, and I still stared at the doors.

I wasn’t sure at this rate whether my husband would ever return. It all seemed so hopeless. So ill-fated. And I hated that things could ever come apart with this sequence. That just as I learned of the miracle that I was pregnant, the father of my baby wouldn’t want anything to do with me. That as I realized the depth of my feelings for him, he’d turned away and was hurt by what I’d done and said.

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