Page 75 of The Irish Arrangement

“How?” I whispered, overjoyed with the fact that I would be a mother.

How in the hell?

This was a twist I couldn’t have ever expected after the ups and downs of the last day. But I wasn’t mad or scared about it.

I’d never wanted a child before, when I thought I couldn’t have one. I formed my opinions long ago that I didn’t want to ever bring a child into a poor quality of life at the farm with my hopeless circumstances. Now, with Declan in the picture, though, I was excited to share a baby with him.

Elation coursed through me as I imagined the surprise and shock that would show on his face. He would be a good father, the authoritarian, for sure, but he would provide for this child in a way I never could have dreamed of before.

But he didn’t know. For the next two days, he stayed away, and I was torn apart with his absence.

I yearned to tell him how sorry I was. I wanted to express my remorse for not being honest and telling him from the beginning that I was infertile when it was no longer an issue with the new life growing inside me.

Minutes turned to hours. Hours turned to days. For two long ones, I gave in to the feeling of being out of control. Nothing was in my control anymore, and I wished so badly that I could put an end to this stress about making everything right.

The only time I ever felt so free and released from stress was when he was here. When he was fucking me hard and pushing me to pleasure, preventing me from obsessing and trying to stay in control of everything.

Now, with him seeming to block my texts and calls, with him avoiding me completely and staying away, it looked like I would be wife number three to be removed from the Sullivan estate.

27

DECLAN

Sleep was impossible, but I waited until the next day to go to see Cara’s family.

Calling Shane and Keira Murray her family felt like a reach. They weren’t family in the sense that I was with my dad and Ian. With all the men and women affiliated with the Sullivan name.

Family didn’t force others to make sacrifices so they could skirt away from having to own up to their own debts. Family didn’t promise to erase financial woes and then fail to come through.

Anger and rage mixed in an ugly storm, but I tamped it down and bided my time to visit the Murrays the next day.

They had been at the gala, and I didn’t want to return there after Peter Boyle challenged me in the parking lot and forced me to kill him. That shit happened all the time. This was the way of the Mob life. I wouldn’t be in trouble, not with the law. We carved our own rules and laws, anyway.

Still, I didn’t welcome the stress of having to locate Shane Murray among the crowd that had likely already dispersed from the party by the time Cara came clean about what she was hiding.

So, with Ian on speakerphone, I drove to the Murray residence the next afternoon.

I swore I’d never set foot there again after the last time I came here with Ian, and I really hoped this time would be the final and very last occasion I’d ever have to face him.

“I’m on it,” Ian promised, confirming that he would help me sort out this mess. I would never forget the sight of Cara’s tear-streaked face last night, and I would never get past the utter devastation she suffered from.

Coming here to speak with the Murrays was the first step of this retaliation. And it wouldn’t be pretty.

I was furious with Cara. It would take me a long time to move on from her lies and manipulation.

But I still cared. I couldn’t hate her for what she’d done. In another sense, I had to… admire her for it. Late last night, I realized that she really had done the best she could. To secure her future and care for her mother, she’d taken the best option possible.

If I had been her position, I knew I would have done the same damn thing.

In that sense, we weren’t so different. And it oddly served as a reminder that we belonged together.

I pounded my fist on the door, daring that crusty old butler to take his time letting me in. Standing at the front door, I waited and wished my brother were here. I could handle this myself, but if I got carried away, if I let my anger get the better of me, he’d be able to pull me back.

Shane and Keira Murray were about to be put in their places—for good. Ian simply had too many other things to do for me to be here to see it.

When the butler opened the door, he blanched and almost tripped on his feet in his haste to back up.

“Murray!” I bellowed, running into the foyer and searching the fancy décor. It was gaudy, every bit of it, and I knew they’d be saying goodbye to it all very soon.

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