Page 55 of The Irish Arrangement

As I was struck with the realization that I treasured being his wife, his woman, that guilt returned.

If I told him that I couldn’t carry a child for him, he would dismiss me. He would cast me out of his bed, out of his life.

I didn’t need him anymore. I married him, and that action was the stipulation that my father gave me in order to pay off my mom’s medical debts. Now that I had my phone back, I was eager to check and confirm that he’d seen to his side of this deal.

Faced with the thought that I wouldn’t be here in this castle to see this man ever again, I struggled with a deep sense of loss I never expected to feel. After connecting with him like we had over the last couple of days, I had to remind myself that it wouldn’t last.

Uncomfortable with these thoughts of guilt, I shooed him back. “Go on. Do your business.”

He couldn’t resist pressing his lips to mine once more. Every time that he kissed me, my resolve weakened that much further.

“Don’t go far,” he teased. “I will see you soon.” After a playful slap on my ass, he turned and strode toward his brother.

As soon as he was gone, I went up to my room and pulled my phone out of my pocket. Staring at it, I tried to tamp down the suspicions that arose.

He had to have looked through it. I was so glad I’d reset it to factory settings when Frank asked me for it.

But now… I grimaced, wondering if he was tracking me with the device. Could he know what I did with it?

He’d given me the limitation of only calling my mother, but if I had to contact Oscar, was that so wrong?

I shook my head, calling his cell phone. Calling my one stable hand was like calling my mother. Besides, if she was sleeping, I didn’t want to wake her.

And if Declan asks, I’ll explain why I decided that.

I waited for the call to connect, and when Oscar answered, I smiled.

“Cara!” He whooped. “I’ve been wondering when you’d call. My gosh!”

“Sorry, I’ve been busy.”

Not. Other than taking Declan’s dick, I’d been bored and depressed. Restless.

“How is Mom doing? The farm, everything. Fill me in.”

He chuckled. “How come it took you so long to call?”

“Uh, the reception is really spotty here.”

He accepted that as an answer. Oscar was always an easygoing guy. “Good. Good. The herd’s doing well. I haven’t had much luck finding another helper, but now and then, Thomas pitches in when he can.”

I nodded. That was good. Thomas was maybe a year or two younger than me, busy with college, but he probably wanted the flexible means of making extra money.

“How’s Mom?”

“Oh,” he said, chuckling, “she’s the same old. You know. But it was a genius move asking Patti Gehring to sit with her and whatnot. Her husband just got that trucking job, and it seemed like she was lonely across the street. I hear them giggling and chatting all the time from the window up there.”

I smiled, breathing easier.

“She’s feeling okay?” I checked. As soon as I was finished getting this report from him, I’d call her cell phone.

“Eh. She’s got her good days and bad days. That new painkiller seems to help a lot, but Patti said something about the pharmacy claiming it wasn’t covered or somethin’. She’s harping on them to explain when it would be available.”

Furrowing my brow, I walked back and forth through my suite. “Hmm.”

That’s weird. Lots of medications required a private, out-of-pocket coverage, but Mom didn’t have to worry about that anymore.

I stopped, mid-step and tense with instant dread.

---