Chapter One

Australia

Nate Carter stood on the big lawn of the house he’d spent his teenaged years in and wondered why it no longer felt like home. It wasn’t like he didn’t love the big ranch house, didn’t have fond memories of riding horses across the rambling station with his sister, Elodie, or spending evenings with his parents watching movies.

His parents weren’t the problem. His sister was still the same obnoxious, loving woman she’d always been.

He was the problem.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” a deep voice asked.

He turned and saw his father standing on the big wraparound porch where he would sit with his sister, swinging and talking about what was going on in their lives.

He’d been home for six months and he made excuse after excuse why he wouldn’t sit there with Elodie. He was busy. There was work to be done.

He never once told her the real reason. He was scared he would sit there and have absolutely nothing to say.

Elodie had known what she wanted to do with her life since she was five years old. He was twenty-six and had no idea where his place was in the world.

Which was why he was changing things up. “Moving to the States or working for Big Tag?”

His father wore his normal uniform of jeans and a T-shirt and looked more like a cowboy than the soldier he’d been in his younger years. Brody Carter was a legend in the security business. He’d gone from Aussie Special Forces to working for an international security company. He’d married a woman he’d met on what he would call an “op” but what Nate kind of thought was really fate. All of his life he’d looked up to this man, and Nate was so worried he was letting him down. “Both, I suppose. You know Damon would love to have you.”

Before they’d moved back to Australia, his family had been based in London. Elodie barely remembered living in the place called The Garden, but Nate did. Nate remembered growing up with Damon Knight’s kids and all the others.

“I need something new.” It was nothing less than the truth. Since he’d left the military, he’d been drifting. Nothing had been able to shake this sense of… He hesitated to use the word ennui. Ennui sounded like something that happened to way smarter people than him.

“Are you sure you’re not following one of the Taggart girls?” His father’s brows had risen. “Because I worry you would be making a mistake, son. Tasha’s getting married and the twins… Well, I don’t know how any man handles those twins of Tag’s.”

Nate laughed. It felt good to laugh. He’d been kind of numb for the last couple of months. “Absolutely not. And I’m not trailing after Lou, either. There is no woman involved in this decision of mine. I’m doing this for me.”

He wasn’t going to mention he’d been thinking a lot about Daisy O’Donnell lately. He wouldn’t pursue her or anything. When they’d been kids, she’d followed him around and he’d known about her crush. He hadn’t minded, though he also hadn’t touched her. It made him wonder what she was up to these days.

His father nodded and stepped down, joining him on the lawn. “I suppose my question is what you’re going to get out of the experience. You told me you didn’t think you wanted to work security.”

“It seems to be the only thing I’m halfway good at.” Which was precisely the problem.

“Ah, so you’re feeling the pressure, are you?” his father asked.

“Pressure? No one puts pressure on me. I come home and tell you I’ve left SASR and Mum simply gets my old room ready and you put me on the schedule. I thought the military was going to be my career.”

His father shrugged. “There’s no pressure from me or your mum. You want to help me around the station, I’m happy to have you. You want to go work at Mum’s clinic, she would love it. Your uncle’s business is the only one I’m going to ask you to stay out of, and you know damn well why.”

Because Uncle Alfi worked on the outer edges of morality. He’d been a fun guy to have around, but he could get into the wildest scrapes. “I don’t think he’s looking for a partner.”

His father snorted. “He’s always looking for a partner. I suppose I’m just wishing you didn’t have to go so far away to find yourself. This is the pressure I’m talking about.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Ah, but I do understand you,” his father said with a sigh. “I was you, son. I was the rather normal man madly in love with a brilliant woman who I couldn’t believe I deserved.”

His parents were some of the most solid people he’d ever known. While his friends’ folks were splitting up or taking breaks, his parents were obnoxiously in love.

He’d never felt romantic love either. Elodie fell in and out of love so easily, and he’d never felt more than some affection for the women he’d been with. Friendship and good sex had been the height of his relationships. “I think Mum would disagree.”

“Oh, she did, and I was a stubborn arse for a long time,” his dad admitted. “I let my insecurities put you and Mum in a very bad position. This is why I talk about pressure. You have been raised around extraordinary women. Women who have sparks of talent they can’t deny.”

His mother was a doctor. She was driven and practically glowed with purpose.