Page 97 of Shattered Dreams

“You’ll float between that and anger for a hot minute.” Olivia added.

“He killed my father.”

“That he did.” Ma tapped her fingers on the table. “But. That could’ve been you. Or one of the kids.”

My head bobbled all around. “I know.”

“No. Jolynn.” Mama Jean shook her head. “You think you know. Jeremy was hospitalized when he was in eighth grade because something set Gary off. Richard took a lot of punches, too. The older boys got smart. They started spending the night with friends. Cooper? The baby saw a different world, he tamed a bit by then with the boys. But not me.”

She stood up and got a refill of coffee, facing us all with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t leave. I should’ve. I didn’t. I was too afraid. No one would ever want a broken housewife with three kids. Oh, I had all the excuses and from the look on your face, you know them. It all started with just mean words. Then some outbursts on furniture, walls, and trinkets. A few over the top paddling’s for the boys.”

“Do the assholes go to school to learn this?” I shook my head as I wiped away tears.

“No. Sadly, it’s in them. But Jo. You got out. You did something brave and even though this happened? Your kids are safe.”

I laughed sarcastically. “So, I’m not a selfish asshole if I am sitting here thinking ‘thank god it wasn’t me’?”

Everyone laughed with me. And Olivia pointed something out. “You are deliciously normal.”

“Would you like help to make all the arrangements?” Mama Jean offered.

“Yes.” I broke down crying again. “Please. I feel overwhelmed.”

“We can do that, honey.” She came over hugging me and soon everyone joined in, creating a massive huddle of tears, love, and safety.

---