Page 24 of Shattered Dreams

“Why?” I choked back a sob. “Was I supposed to stay?”

“Oh, sweetheart, my choices don’t compare to your choices.” She reached for my hand. “I stayed because as a kid I watched my mama go through the same. Only we moved all the time. My dad couldn’t hold down a job. And Gary did. A damn good job no less.”

“John wouldn’t keep a job.” I sniffled. “He would spend money and complain when there wasn’t enough food or beer.”

“And you made it work.” She nodded.

“He would get better.” I shrugged.

She laughed. “And then he’d get worse. That’s the cycle.”

“Why don’t you hate me?” The tears streamed down my face.

“For loving my son?” Jean got up and came over to me. “You didn’t leave because you didn’t love him. You had your reasons.” She wrapped her arms around me, letting me cry. “I know you miss your mama.”

“So much, Miss Jean.” Snot collected on her shoulder. “I should’ve left so long ago, but I was scared.”

“If he was anything like Gary, you knew it wasn’t an idle threat.” She stroked my greasy hair. “You do what you have to just to survive.”

“The past six months have been so crazy.” I sat up. “I can’t find a job. No one wants to hire someone with no work experience and no diploma.”

“You didn’t finish school?” She used her thumbs to wipe my tears away.

“No. Being pregnant and in school didn’t work well.” I shuddered out a breath. “Then we got married and fuck!” I slapped a hand over my mouth.

Miss Jean threw her head back in laughter. “Sweet girl, it’s nothing I’ve never heard before.”

Moving my hand, I joined her in laughing and for the first time since I left John; I felt like I was going to be okay.

“Thank you for this.”

“Anytime.” She smiled. “I’m proud of you for being strong enough to leave.”

Tears dripped down my cheeks.

“And I know your dad is, too. So was your mama.” She took my hand and patted it. “You’re going to be fine. You’ll see.”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

Her house phone rang, and she got up, walking around the table to answer it. “Hello. Oh, hello Richie.” She giggled. “What do you mean?”

She turned towards me, and her eyes twinkled. “Well, I think that’s a fabulous idea.” She paused and rolled her eyes. “I can do that. Bye-bye.”

Hanging up the receiver, she tilted her head. “You probably should get back and get a shower while the kids are occupied.”

“Did he tell you he invited us to the fair?”

“He did.” She smiled. “I’m sure you’ll all have a wonderful time.”

I drained my glass of lemonade and put it in the sink before heading back out through the mudroom and reversing my path to get home.

My feet felt lighter, and I didn’t feel like I carried such a heavy load anymore. Richard crossed my mind, and I groaned.

Fuck. Me. He was so handsome. Thick muscled arms, broad chest, neatly trimmed beard.

I never stopped loving him.

But your dumb ass sure made sure he’d forget about you.

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