Page 59 of Road to a Cowboy

“Stop. Just... stop.” Steps from his truck, Cal closed his eyes and counted to ten. Then he continued on to twenty when ten wasn’t enough. Slowly, he turned to face his mom. “Those are my employers you’ve been insulting since I arrived, as well as my best friend and partner.”

She sucked in a breath at partner, likely because Cal hadn’t told her about him and Austin. Why would he? They didn’t have the kind of relationship where they talked about things that actually mattered.

“I frankly don’t care how you feel about them,” he said quietly enough for her to have to lean forward to hear him. “But if you want me to help with your groceries or your laundry or your yard work or anything else ever again, I expect you to keep your opinions to yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He got in his car and drove away before she could say anything else.

His mood when he arrived at the ranch was sour. He was hungry too, bordering on hangry, since he’d skipped lunch to drive Austin to the airport. But at this time of the day, the lunch spread that was usually set out for the ranch hands would’ve already been cleaned up, so he was shit out of luck. Not in the kind of head space that boded well for dealing with people, he ensconced himself in his office in the barn to finish administrative tasks he’d been neglecting.

Of course, dealing with spreadsheets and the ranch’s farm management software didn’t help his mood and only served to annoy him further. He was annoyed with his mom for being the way she was, with himself for being stuck here, with Austin for leaving?—

Wait, no. He wasn’t annoyed with Austin. Austin had to go. Hell, Cal had told him as much. That job at the photography school was tailor-made for him. Obviously, he had to go to Norway to check it out.

And he wasn’t annoyed with himself either. He wasn’t stuck here. He liked it here. Liked his job, the people he worked for and with, and contributing to something that mattered. He was useful here and his ideas were valued.

He’d spent his entire life trying to get his mom to see him, to acknowledge that he mattered, to admit that she appreciated everything he did for her.

On the ranch, all he had to do was show up for work and he was automatically seen as worthy.

So why was he still trying with Barbara? Why did he always feel guilty when he let her down? Was it because, at his core, he didn’t want to be her? He didn’t want to be someone who used and used and used and never gave back. Didn’t want to be someone who never showed appreciation.

Or was it, simply, because he was a better person than her?

Had she felt any guilt when she’d shipped him off to live with the father he barely knew?

“You look particularly gloomy today.” Las appeared in his doorway and lounged on the doorjamb, hands shoved in his pockets, cowboy hat shading his eyes. Didn’t hide the smirk on his face though. “Is it because Austin’s away? I’ll remind you that you were the one who scolded me for being mopey when Marco had to fly back east last summer. You said, and I quote, ‘You’re crying because your boyfriend’s going to be out of town for two days?’ So. I say to you: you’re crying because your boyfriend’s going to be out of town for a week?”

Before Cal could retort that he hadn’t been thinking about Austin, Las continued.

“You could’ve gone with him, you know.”

“Uh...” Cal blinked at him. “No, I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s work to do.”

Las scoffed. “This is a ranch. There’s always work to do. But you’ve got vacation days that I know for a fact you haven’t used yet. So? Use ’em.”

Cal ducked his head, concentrating on his work. “Your mom would never approve a last-minute week off just so I can join my boyfriend in Europe.”

“Did you ask?”

“I don’t have to ask to know what she’ll say.”

Las rolled his eyes. “Idiot. Don’t assume. If you don’t want to ask her, I will.”

“Wha—”

“Hey, Mom?”

“Hm?” came Whitney’s easy reply as she approached, steaming mug of coffee in one hand, hair bundled into a messy bun at the back of her head.

“You know Austin went to Norway for a photography thing, right?” Las said.

“Is that why it’s so quiet around here? No Austin MacIsaac to darken my doorstep?”

She said it so fondly that Cal couldn’t help but laugh.

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