Page 49 of Road to a Cowboy

“I have?—”

“Don’t say Twizzlers. Especially since they’re somewhere out on the sidewalk.”

Cal clacked his mouth shut. Thought for a second. Said, “Crackers and peanut butter?”

“I’ll take it.”

* * *

They cleaned up first. They were sticky and messy and sweaty, so they stood shoulder to shoulder in Cal’s tiny bathroom, washcloths in hand, furtively sneaking glances at each other’s junk like they were teenagers in a locker room. The whole thing was so silly that when Austin caught Cal’s eye in the mirror, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?” Cal asked.

“Just... nothing.” He shook his head, chuckling under his breath. It’d been a long time since he’d felt this good. It wasn’t the kind of good that came with an amazing orgasm, although that was certainly true too. It was the kind of good that came with being deliriously happy. The kind of happy that reminded him of champagne bubbles and balloons floating up to the clouds and the first stars winking to life on a cloudless evening.

Once they’d washed up, they sat on the couch in boxer briefs and T-shirts, crackers, a jar of peanut butter, and several butter knives cluttering up the coffee table. Austin sat sideways, his feet tucked under Cal’s butt, and licked peanut butter off his knife.

“How did I know you would do that?” Cal picked one of the clean knives off the table and handed it to Austin. “Here.”

“I already have one.”

Cal narrowed his gaze. “You’re not putting that back in the jar.”

“Think about what we just did and say that to me again.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

“Just use a clean knife if you want more peanut butter, will you?”

He sounded so fondly exasperated it made Austin grin.

“Fine.” Austin took the clean knife and wiggled his toes to tickle Cal’s butt.

Cal shot him a look.

Austin’s smile widened. “So tell me... when did you know?”

“That I had feelings for you?” Cal slathered peanut butter onto a cracker, then pressed another cracker on top, making a sandwich. “You just want me to stroke your ego.”

“Maybe a little,” Austin admitted.

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t know. Truly,” Cal added when it was Austin’s turn to shoot him a look. “They developed gradually over time. There wasn’t a single defining moment where I said Him. I want him. Or if there was, I don’t remember what it was. How about you?”

“Eleventh grade biology,” Austin said promptly. “You were paired with Sarina on the frog dissection, remember? My god, the way she flirted with you...” He stabbed his knife into the peanut butter jar and swirled it around. “At first I thought I was jealous because you were my best friend. You should’ve been laughing like that with me. But then one day she leaned closer to say something in your ear, and she put her hand on your arm, and...” Stab, stab, stab. “I wanted to commit murder.”

“Okay.” Cal pried the jar out of Austin’s hands and set it aside. “No more peanut butter for you. I don’t think it can withstand your murderous instincts.”

“When I saw that message from AmeliaJ,” Austin went on, as though Cal had never interrupted, “it was Sarina all over again.”

“AmeliaJ?”

“The woman who messaged you on the dating app.”

Frowning, Cal stared at him for a moment before it seemed to hit him. “Right. I remember. I canceled that date.”

“I should hope so.”

---