Page 45 of Road to a Cowboy

There was a light in Austin’s eyes Cal hadn’t seen in a while. Not since Austin had told Cal about the course proposal he’d submitted to Central Wyoming College. It was the light of new opportunity mixed with excitement and yearning.

Cal set his fork aside and didn’t let the pending loss show on his face. “You want the job.”

“No,” Austin said quickly. Too quickly. At Cal’s raised eyebrow, he made a face—seemingly at himself. “I mean... maybe. It sounds like a lot of fun. And it’d be great experience, making me more employable to Central Wyoming College. But...” He pushed the orzo around on his plate.

“But?” Cal pressed.

Austin shrugged one shoulder. “It’s Norway. And the fall term starts mid-August. It’s bad timing.”

“Because of your workshops? You can probably bribe Carine to teach the last few.” Austin’s former assistant was now a stay-at-home mom, but while she’d worked for him, she’d sometimes taught Austin’s workshops when they conflicted with a scheduled out-of-town shoot. Cal didn’t doubt she’d happily help out now if Austin asked.

“Sure, the workshops. But also...” Austin waved a hand between them. “This. Us. We’ve barely gotten off the ground, and I don’t want to nip it in the bud before we’ve even had a chance to try. That’s not fair to either of us.”

Cal was about to tell him that he didn’t have to choose between him and the job—the timing sucked balls, Austin was right about that, but Cal would still be here when Austin’s contract was up—when Austin added, “I’ve had feelings for you for way too long to let anything get between that.”

Cal nearly choked on what he’d been about to say.

Feelings...

Way too long...

“How long...?” he managed to croak, unable to finish past the dryness in his throat.

Austin shrugged like it was no big deal, but twin spots of pink colored his cheeks and he glanced away, poking at his orzo again. “Since we were fifteen or sixteen.”

Cal’s heart tripped over itself. He’d had feelings for Austin for just as long, and when he thought of all that wasted time between then and now...

But...

“You married Lindsay,” he blurted thoughtlessly.

“Uh...” Austin frowned. “Yes?”

“You married her... when you had feelings for me?”

Austin’s expression cleared. So achingly gentle that it formed a lump in Cal’s throat, Austin said, “It’s not unheard of for a person to be in love with two people at once.”

The lump grew. Cal swallowed roughly, his palms going damp. Austin... was in love with him?

“But back then, I didn’t think you and me would ever be a possibility,” Austin added. “Mostly because I was too afraid to try. Too afraid of messing up our friendship.”

The reason Cal had been so reticent when Austin had first asked him out. They were on the same wavelength, only years apart.

“So what changed?” Cal asked, his voice like gravel.

“I didn’t want to wait anymore. If Lindsay’s death taught me anything, it’s that we don’t have nearly as much time on this earth as we think we do. And if we want something, there’s no time like the present to grab it. Plus, I figured...” Austin’s smile was rueful. “We’re older now. Theoretically wiser. If we’d dated as teenagers and it hadn’t worked out, what are the odds we would’ve stayed friends?”

“Not high.”

“Exactly. Now though? I think we’d be okay.”

“Sure. After a lengthy period of grieving what could’ve been.”

A glint entered Austin’s eyes, and his smile turned smug in a way that shouldn’t have been attractive, yet somehow was. “You’d grieve if we didn’t work out?”

Cal casually sipped his beer. “Maybe for a day or two.”

Austin laughed, bright and airy, and Cal grinned back at him.

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