Page 78 of Tickled Pink

“No, I mean… I’m in love… with Thad.”

I glance at the couch. Max on his knees. For Thad.

“Oh,” I say.

Max steps toward me, his socked feet whispering along the floor. “I know you’ve been worried lately,” he says. “I’ve been spending more time at work. I come to bed late. I go to work early. It was never you, and it was never a work wife or anything like that.” He pauses. “I’ve been avoiding Thad because I was looking at him differently and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

I nod slowly.

He takes my hands. I let them go limp in his fingers. “After you left for LA, Thad followed me to work. He wanted to check in on me for you. He had his own suspicions, and I don’t blame either of you for that. When he asked if there was someone else, I panicked. I couldn’t lie. I told him how I felt.” He looks down, his thumbs caressing my skin. “That night, I came home and we…”

I take a shallow breath. “You slept together?” I ask.

He nods, his head barely moving. “He said that I was going through something, and he wanted to be there for me. He’s always been there for me…”

His voice trails away again.

“You’re in love with Thad,” I say, purely to hear it out loud again.

“Yes,” he answers.

I hesitate to ask, but I have to. “Are you still in love with me?”

His head snaps up. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, Phoebe. I… love you more than I could ever say. This… It had nothing to do with you, or us. It was just a part of me I couldn’t understand until I went through it.”

His head falls again. This time, a tear falls down his cheek. I feel my own eyes swell with tears, but I easily swallow them down.

I’m not mad. Or sad. Or even a little bit heartbroken.

I’ve been in these shoes before, my heart torn between two lovers. It feels wrong, yet horribly wonderful at once. There was a time when everyone, including my own instinct, said I could never love two men. But I did. I chose my boys. They chose me, and a life with each other.

“Max, it’s okay,” I whisper. “I get it.”

“You do?” he asks, not looking up.

“I mean, who am I to deny the intoxicating allure of Thad Hemsley?”

He breathes a laugh, but stays quiet.

“I wish you would have told me,” I say. “You should have just… talked to me, Max.”

“I didn’t know how,” he says. “I couldn’t even admit it to myself until…” He swallows hard, then looks up. “Phoebe, I’m sorry. If you don’t want to be with me anymore, I understand. I’ll leave tonight.”

My mouth sags. “Max, no.” I touch his cheek. “No, that’s not it at all.”

“I feel awful. I feel… wrong.”

“Don’t.” I smile. “This is who you are, Max, and I love you. And Thad is right. If you’re going through something, then I want to be there for you, too.”

He leans in until our foreheads touch. “Are you sure?”

I kiss him, tasting a trace of his tears on his lips. “You’re still my dream guy,” I whisper. “Always will be.”

Max wraps his arms around me, pulling me in to kiss me. I embrace him, my sweet boy. Nothing has changed. If I can find it in myself to share my heart, then I don’t see why I can’t share his, too.

And if I have to share him with anyone, I’m glad it’s Thad.

“I love you, Max,” I whisper, holding him tightly.

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